Awakenings
by AlphaFoxAttackSquadron
Summary: Thanks to the Kyuubi's tampering, Naruto rises from bed with a whole new set of skin.
1. I: Reflections

A blond man checked himself in the mirror, still adjusting to its reflection

Tell me if it sucks.

XXXXXX

A blond man checked himself in the mirror, still adjusting to its reflection. He wore black combat boots, and black baggy shinobi pants that tucked into steel shin guards. A navy blue shirt adorned his chest. He also wore a high collared dark orange trench coat that went down to his ankles. On the bottom of that cloak were black flames licking the bottom. A black bandanna over a silk mask covered the lower half of his face. His eyes were hidden behind black leather goggles with shiny reflective lens.

It was odd. He knew he was staring at himself, but it didn't feel like it. Almost like looking into the water and another person looking back. Wavy, distorted, almost surreal. He gazed into the mirror, but the Yondamie stared back.

The Sandaime walked forward, "Do they fit Naruto?"

He sighed, "Perfectly, I couldn't ask for better clothes." Naruto looked his hands. The wounds he gave himself earlier have already healed.

"Then why do you sound so depressed?" Sarutobi questioned.

"This is a lot to get used to. I mean, did you ever wake up a different person?"

XXXXXX

_Naruto opened his eyes to a brand new day. He sat up and stretched and the buttons on his shirt shot off. That didn't happen on a daily basis. He hopped out of bed and his pants split in half on the outside of his pant legs. Naruto's head slowly angled down, foreign to the ripping noise. He looked at his body. It was more muscular and toned, other than his usual string bean physique. He flexed his new muscles and all of the strained threads snapped. Naruto quickly wrapped himself in a bed sheet to retain some modesty._

_Naruto dashed to his bathroom to see what the hell was going on. He couldn't believe his refection. Sideburns that reached his shoulders, and shaggy, lengthy golden locks. His eyes narrowed and became a darker shade of blue, and he now noticed his once orb pupils were traded for slits. His trademark whiskers were now longer, darker, and wider. His eye teeth were replaced with canines. His tongue lolled out of his mouth, easily touching the bottom of his chin._

_He was the demonic version of the Yondamie Hokage!_

"_What the hell happened to me?" Naruto exclaimed, still awestruck at his new appearance. He noticed his arms were a little longer, and rolled easier in the sockets. He fell to all fours. The position seemed natural, more so than his usual two legged stance._

"_**I changed you gaki."**__ Boomed a wise, deep bass voice. Naruto looked for the unknown voice, but there was no intruder to be seen, __**"I'm inside you navel boy!"**_

_Naruto put his hands to his stomach, balancing easily on three appendages, "Why are you inside me? Shouldn't organs be there?"_

_The beast within Naruto dragged a paw across his face, __**"No you twit! I am sealed inside of you! I am the Kitsune no Kyuubi! I am the one and only to lay waste to Kohona! Are you in need of yet another hint?"**_

_His nails dug into his cheap wooden flooring. He snarled and growled in anger. His eyes flared crimson. __**"THOSE IGNORANT BASTARDS!" **__He stopped and took a deep breath. He closed his eyed and counted to ten. Iruka-sensei did this when he was mad or after Naruto pulled another prank. Naruto opened his eyes, them having their normal color. "You mean to tell me I lived a shitty life for the village's grudge to you?"_

"_**Yep,"**__ Kyuubi deadpanned, sharpening his claws._

_Naruto growled through his teeth, "Damn it! Why didn't oyaji do something about it?!" Naruto sat on his haunches in a gargoyle statue like position. _

"_**Humans… What a pitiful, sad little race. I would have killed them if your father didn't seal me into you." **__Kyuubi added, blowing the dust from its claws._

_With that statement Naruto saw the big picture. He was too pissed to connect the dots earlier. Kyuubi wasn't dead. He was sealed within his stomach by his father. No one knew he was the offspring of the Yondaime. _

"_Damn, it's like some sorta lame conspiracy…" Naruto said, dazed from his thoughts._

"_**How the hell do you know that word? You were eight last night!"**__ Kyuubi questioned. _

"_Yes, please explain that to me… Why am I not eight?" Naruto asked, arms folded, standing on the balls of his feet with his knees bent. Balancing was second nature now. That position is hard to obtain from the get-go._

"_**You were getting beaten on a day to day basis. I grew tired of healing your wounds just to watch them reopen again. So, I did something about it. Your reflection is only proof."**__ Kyuubi explained._

"_Yes but how?" Naruto pressed._

"_**I forced your cells to a hyper-overdrive. I made them replicate themselves at a ridiculous pace to age you. You body is physically twenty or so, you mind… not so much."**_

"_Damn… I guess I better see oyaji then, he might wanna know about this," Naruto thought aloud. He twitched, "AND BEAT HIS WRINKLED ASS!!"_

XXXXXX

The Sandaime Hokage was signing another document. He looked at his 'IN' pile. His 'OUT' was dwarfed by at least a meter. _'Something, ANYTHING, wipe this mountain of papers off my desk!' _

Just then, one of the double doors leading to his office was kicked down forcefully. It flew through the air, cleaving his desk in half, and going through one of the windows behind him. The flying door also took the papers with them, making a shower of wood, paper, and shattered glass for the people below.

'_Thank you Kami…'_

"OYAJI! WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU DO SOMETHING!?" Naruto roared, stomping into the office. The wood whined as Naruto's foot crashed atop of it.

Sarutobi looked up to see the Yondaime clad in a bed sheet, positioned into a robe. By the looks of things and his entrance, 'Minato' was pissed. He blinked as the Yondaime kicked the other half of the desk through another window. A finger was pointed in his face. The robes parted slightly, revealing the Shiki Funin.

"Na-" Sarutobi began. "YOU'VE GOT FIVE SECONDS TO TELL ME WHY YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT MY LIVING HELL CALLED A LIFE!!" Interrupted Naruto.

Sarutobi started sweating. He swallowed the lead pill lodged in his throat. "N-Naruto, it will take a lot longer than five seconds to explain!" Sarutobi made out, waving his hands in front of him dismissively.

Naruto sat in one of the chairs provided for a guest. "Fine," He began, "Just tell me."

The Sandaime breathed easier knowing Naruto was calm. "It was the only thing that would stop Kyuubi. Everything else we tried failed. Minato insisted his son was the one to be used for the sealing. After the battle, the council wanted you dead. I pulled some strings to get you in the orphanage, but none would adopt you. I tried, but the council wouldn't allow it. When you were five, the orphanage kicked you out. I pulled more strings and got you an apartment. That is all the council would allow. They said, "We do not show favor to any one civilian!" That was a load of bull and I knew it. The clan leaders voted in your favor, but they are not the majority. I did all I could Naruto… I'm sorry."

Naruto had a white knuckle grip, his claws digging into his palms. Blood flowed freely from the pricks. "So you're telling me that some dumbass COUNCIL made my life shit?!"

Sarutobi nodded. "Well fuck me," Naruto cursed. He looked down at his bed sheet robe, "Could I get some clothes? All of mine obviously don't fit."

The withered kage nodded as he fetched Naruto some clothing.

XXXXXX

Naruto caught Sarutobi walking away in the mirror.

"Oyaji! Where are you going?" Naruto called to Sarutobi.

"I'll be back in a minute! I have something else I need to give you!" Sandamie responded.

Naruto sighed, "Ne, Kyu, what do we do now?"

"_**Don't talk out loud, people are going to think you are some sort of psycho. I can hear thoughts that you want me to hear."**_

'_Only the thoughts I want you to hear?' Naruto asked, unsure of himself._

"_**Yeah… only those thoughts…" **__The fox's eyes shifted left and right, __**"Ahem, to answer your previous question. We train. We have to see what the Hokage brings us first. It could aid us." **_

'_What do me mean, 'us?'' Naruto questioned._

"_**Oh? In turn for your recent changes, I want out of this cage. I know, I know, I'll be good and only cause chaos, no mayhem."**__ Kyuubi attempted to defend himself._

'_Fine...' Kyuubi cheered inside, 'But under restrictions I place of course…' With that statement, the demon's mood dampened quickly._

"_**FUCK!"**_

"Oh Naruto, I'm back." Sarutobi brought Naruto out of his internal conflict. He was holding a scroll, a really, _really _big scroll. It was five feet long, and almost a foot thick. Naruto's eyes widened at the parchment, if it could be called that.

"…What the hell is that?" Naruto asked, eyes the size of plates behind his ebony goggles.

"This is you father's Technique Scroll. It has all of his jutsus and training exercises. This will be a major asset to your training. As you know, you are very behind. You have a lot of catching up to do. You may use my private training fields and have a room in my house. I will also provide you food and any equipment you may need. When all of this is done, will you consider joining my ranks as a shinobi?"

Naruto resisted the urge to say 'Fuck Yeah!' He thought on it, "Does that mean I get all the ramen I can eat?"

Sarutobi rubbed the scruff on his chin, "Only on Saturday, you need a balanced diet during the week days when you train."

"Acceptable… There is another catch though," the Sandaime gestured for him to continue, "Kyuubi wants out of his cage. WAIT!" he stopped Sarutobi from protesting, "I'll put some sort of seal to limit how much power he has, what he can do, or something. He did this now I gotta repay him." _'Even if it wasn't voluntarily…'_

Sarutobi wasn't too flattered about the idea of Kyuubi running around. He bit his thumbnail, "Fine, but only ten bowls of ramen every Saturday then."

"…DAMN IT!"

XXXXXX

Mmmkay… I revised this chapter. It doesn't suck ass and it makes sense. Go me.

**AfAs**


	2. II: FuninJutsu

Naruto rubbed his temples once more

Do people really read these?

XXXXXX

Naruto rubbed his temples once more. He was in Sarutobi's library _trying _to lean Funinjutsu. It seems his father's scroll was covered with a complex bloodseal. Naruto had no idea how to open it, so he is now attempting to study in the library. Naruto even tried deciphering _'Funinjutsu and Seals for Complete and Utter Dumbasses.' _That didn't work either.

Looks can be deceiving after all. Seals looked like squiggles and shapes, but if you were a centimeter off, you could get an unwanted effect or possibly kill yourself.

It seems if your IQ is below 200 it's impossible to understand.

"_**Relax gaki, as I said before, you are twenty physically, not mentally. You lack knowledge and life experience."**_Kyuubi tried to reason.

'_That I understand… But that's not getting you outta your cage any faster Kyu,' _Naruto told his furry friend. He looked down at his research material, or blank pages, "I need an inspiration, an epiphany, something!" Naruto pushed the heavy oak double doors open and went for a walk.

'_Ahh, this is nice…' _The orange-clad man thought as the sun warmed his hair. He needed something to give him understanding. People find inspirations in the strangest places after all. His eyes saw a hot springs sign. _'Maybe…'_

XXXXXX

Naruto slid to the warm waters, black mask still hiding the lower half of his face. His goggles were already fogged to the point where seeing out of them was impossible. _'Might as well take a short nap. Can't see shit as it is…'_

His slumber was roused by giggling. His left eye twitched. He rose from the spring holding the towel around his waist. He looked in every direction, looking for the person that woke him. Naruto quickly got dressed and looked around the fence bordering the springs.

He had spiky white hair, a scroll mounted on his back, an odd fashion sense, and a notepad on which he was scrawling vicariously on. Naruto smiled, "Well, well, well… Jiraiya of the Densetsu no Sannin, peeping on bathing women like a common pervert."

The white-haired man looked over his shoulder, "Who are you to question my research, boy?"

"Do you want the lie I tell everybody or the truth?" The blond man asked. The aged Sage just stared.

Naruto pulled down his bandanna, "Who am I? I am," He pushed up his goggles, "The boy who was named after the main character in one of your previous works," Naruto pulled down his mask, revealing a whiskered, smirking face, "Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto."

"You should still be in short pants!" Jiraiya yelled. He stood up and pointed at Naruto, "Show yourself imposter!" There was no way this man could be who he claimed. He was almost two inches taller than he himself.

Naruto blinked in confusion, "I'm showed…"

"Dispel you henge then," The Toad Sage's eyes narrowed.

With a Kai, Naruto stood in his demonic glory, silted eyes and all. "Happy?" He questioned.

Jiraiya still didn't believe a word, "Lift your shirt..."

Naruto did so, revealing the seal that kept Kyuubi at bay.

"Okay fine, you're Uzumaki Naruto… But why do you look like that? I was right when I said you should be in short pants," The pervert admitted. Naruto began to explain what the Kyuubi did, an what it wants in return.

"So that's why I need a good grasp of Funinjutsu. I need a release seal for the Shiki Funin and some sorta seal that will let me control the amount of power it can get." Naruto reasoned, hoping he could help, "That, and I have to get a scroll open. But that isn't on top of my priority list at the moment. You could say I need to pay off a dept before I can waste my money on personal things."

"Hmm, I'm not sure about the release seal, but we can advance a choker seal to limit its power," Jiraiya thought aloud, rubbing his chin.

"But we have a problem…" Jiraiya raised an eyebrow, curious as to what it could be, "I need to learn the very basics of Funinjutsu before any of this happens," Naruto sheepishly scratched the back of his head.

Jiraiya held the bridge of the nose, "Fine, we'll start from square one…" _'Let's hope he'll get it faster than his father did…'_

XXXXXX

From square one on, Naruto practiced, worked, and studied the art of sealing. Within a year, he was on par with the Yondaime. Give him any seal, and Naruto could tell you what every shape, kanji, and line did. It was amazing really. A simple seal graph was capable of doing trans-dimensional things. The possibilities were endless. He could make his own personal summoning contract, warp to a different world, or even store at warehouse of ramen, still hot and freshly cooked!

Naruto found out something that blew his mind. An average explosive seal tag was only working to 1/8 of its possible potential. Leveling buildings, no, villages and major cities could be erupted in a mushroom cloud. You could also warp someone else's tags to explode at _your _command. They prepare to throw a tag, one handseal, and their dismembered on the ground. In Naruto's own words, "Blowin' shit up is FUN!"

In any other aspect besides 'blowing shit up,' Naruto matured greatly. Time in the library and endless studying greatly toned down his eccentric thought method. That doesn't mean he wasn't dense. Anything with women, excluding his Orioke no Justu, He was absolutely clueless about. Females would swoon over him with hearts on their eyes and drool, and he would assume they were hungry. It seems Naruto skipped a section scouting the library in needed research material.

But, in anything seal related, only few could match him.

Naruto was confident in his ability, and could be claimed as a master in it. Needless to say, Jiraiya was proud of his apprentice. They together deciphered every seal down to its core, and made a release seal. It took all their effort and a sleepless week, but they did it. That's where master and pupil are now.

Naruto was laying stomach up wearing only his boxers in a square room. It was a twenty by twenty yard stone room. The only source of light was nine large candles on respective pedestals. Every inch of the room was part of one giant intricate seal. Blood painted the walls in flowing swirls; multiple shapes ensnaring kanji, all leading to the cage of the beast about to erupt from it.

Naruto was painted head to toe in lines all running from the Shiki Funin on his navel. He was placed in a large circle, with the candles arranged in an enneagon within it.

"Oi, You ready Naruto?!" Jiraiya yelled at the edge of the blood seal.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Naruto responded, bracing for what is about to come.

"Alright Naruto, here it comes.," Jiraiya out his hands on the edge of the seal, "**Kakushigoto Chouin: Shiki Fuujin KAIHOU!" **Instantly, the seals began to glow red, as Kyuubi's Chakra flooded the room. Naruto's agonized screams filled the room. Whips of red-orange chakra escaped from the seal the Yondaime sacrificed his life to make. As time went on, more and more chakra got out of the seal, making a column and making a hazy miasma. Right before the ritual was over, a red light filled the room making nothing visible. Naruto and Jiraiya were both panting in their respective places. The light faded, but there was also another presence in the room.

There stood Kyuubi in his new found glory.

He stood four feet tall, seven feet long. He had crimson and orange-tainted fur. His elongated ears had a black stripe that ran to his ruby demon eyes that were covered by circular jet sunglasses. One fluffy black-tipped tail swung proudly from his backside. He had black around his paws that represented socks or little shoes, like every fox does. On his right foreleg, was a tattoo. It had nine rings, bold on the outside fading to thin, with the Roman numeral for nine centered in it. Kyuubi, for some reason, was wearing a black trench coat with its sleeves ripped off. Around his neck, was a black bandanna, the knot was at the neck, and it fanned in the back. It also had a metal plate that had a fox head carved in it. Also around his neck was a spiked collar. Each spike was three inches long, and there was a seal where his throat was. To make a long story short, the fox demon was looking badass.

He fox smirked, **"Thanks kit, you to you old perv." **Jiraiya face faulted at that, while Naruto smiled at his new nickname. He propped himself up on his shoulders as he looked Kyuubi in the eye. Kyuubi tiled his head down, so his eyes met with his former container's.

He gave a tired smile, "Your welcome Kyu…" He then passed out.

XXXXXX

Naruto slowly opened his eyes, finding no light difference with his goggles. Obviously, someone dressed him. He hopped out of bed to hear a high-pitched yelp. He jumped on the bed frightened, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"

An angry Kyuubi slowly raised his head, **"See to it that that NEVER, happens again. Lest I maul you and feed you to the fishes…" **

"Got it…" Naruto swallowed the lump in his throat. _'Note to self, never step on Kyuubi's tail."_

It seems he was in the bedroom Sarutobi let him use. It had a bed, dresser, closet, and blue walls. It was pretty bland, but Naruto wouldn't stay in the luxurious room the Sandaime wanted him to use. He was already pushing his luck. He also knew the old man was sadistic. If he took everything he offered now, he'd somehow owe him later.

Naruto and Kyuubi walked down to the library to find Jiraiya sitting at a table with his scroll opened across it. It seems to Toad Sage was expecting them. He smiled at him, "I think it's time you get the frog summoning."

Naruto returned the smile and sat across Jiraiya. "Just slit your finger, and leave your signature along with a bloody handprint," He explained, cluing in Naruto.

He used his fang and signed his name next to his fathers, who apparently, has illegible handwriting. Naruto skeptically looked at Jiraiya, to see if he did anything wrong. The Toad Sage's eyes were furrowed, staring at the scroll. He put his head level to the table to see what was wrong. "Ah, I see it," Jiraiya pointed out, "See right there? Your blood is floating. The contract is rejecting your blood. Did you sign a contract by accident when we were making some?"

"No, I pretty sure I didn't accidentally do this." Naruto answered. He also put his head level to the table, and found out that was floating.

"Put blood on each finger, do these handseals, and slam your palm on the ground or a wall." Jiraiya showed him the handseals and let him try.

Naruto mimicked the seals and slammed his palm on the ground. In a plum of smoke, a fox kit appeared. It hopped on his shoulder and started cuddling into his neck. "Wow, I've never seen a fox summon before!" Jiraiya exclaimed. He looked toward Kyuubi, "Do you have anything to do with this?"

"**Yep, in the process of the seal release, I tampered with the kit's body once more. I added some chakra to a separate reservoir so it wouldn't mess with your already haywire up chakra control. Whenever you are injured your body will purge from the source, healing it's self quickly. This store will also replenish half as fast as regular chakra, so do not dive in front of kunais. I also gave you the fox contract obviously, and made it so you only need five hours of sleep. That will give you more time of day to do whatever the hell you wish." **Kyuubi explained halfheartedly.

"Thanks Kyu!" Naruto beamed. His face still remained aphetic because of the masks.

"Before I go, take this," Jiraiya handed him an iron bracelet. It looked like a really thick handcuff. The only thing extravagant about it is a rectangular piece of metal fashioned through a loop. He continued, "That will react to strong chakra signatures. The metal piece will move more if the signature is dense or strong."

A chair squealed across the hardwood floor. "Sorry kid, I got to get going. I'm behind my research as it is." With that said, Jiraiya left.

Kyuubi, Naruto, and the fix on his shoulder sweatdropped.

xXxOMAKE!xXx

Naruto and Kyuubi walked down to the library to find Jiraiya sitting at a table with his scroll opened across it. He smiled at him, "I think it's time you get the frog summoning."

Naruto returned the smile and sat across Jiraiya. "Just slit your finger, and leave your signature along with a bloody handprint," He explained, cluing in Naruto.

He used his fang and signed his name next to his fathers. "Excelent!" Jiraiya said. But when he went to pick up the scroll, the blood slit off. "Hmm, it seems you already have a summon. But bloos on each finger, do these handseals, and slam your palm on the ground or a wall." Jiraiya showed him the handseals and let him try.

Naruto mimicked the seals and slammed his palm on the wall. Nothing happened. Naruto looked toward Jiraiya and he shrugged his shoulders.

The room started rumbling. Books were knocked from their shelves, desks and chairs were turned over, an earthquake stuck Kohona!

No, it wasn't an earthquake. The rumbling was progressively getting bigger and bigger.

Jiraiya paled, "OH NO! IT'S THE ULTIMATE SUMMON!! RUN!!" Naruto didn't question it, he ran away as fast as he could. He hid for cover behind an overturned desk, waiting for whatever it was to strike.

In a massive explosion, a plume of smoke concealed whatever crashed through the wall.

It was nearly two stories tall.

It was glass…

It was…

A GIANT PITCHER!

"OH YEAH!!"

"OH SHIT!" Naruto screamed pissing himself on the spot.

xXxOMAKE!xXx

Naruto ran as fast as he could to training area 44, better known as 'The Forest of Death'. He was only there to test the full power of his newly discovered explosives. After all, a powerful bomb with a short fuse was useless. The Yondaime look alike was better at doing the things in the fly, but things like these were not to be toyed with.

He leapt the gates and went in the forest, looking for some poor, defenseless, cute, little animal he could explode into an unidentifiable heap of gore. His eyes caught a little furry rodent, scampering through the trees. _'Must… Blow up!'_

Listening to his inner pyromaniac, he lunged for the squirrel. He was in fingertip reach when the squirrel was taken away by someone. Naruto crashed face first into the tree. He looked at who took his guinea pig. It was some kid with rounded eyes, a long braided ponytail, and a Chinese-style outfit.

"Blowing up squirrels is fun eh!" The thief exclaimed, flaming explosive note on hand.

Great minds think alike…

XXXXXX

Hmm… I really couldn't find anything to add to this chapter.

The second Omake is from Naruto Abridged, kudos to those of you who knew.

**AfAs**


	3. III: TaiJutsu

Naruto skimmed the scroll, looking for something to do

5181 words, woot.

XXXXXX

Every TaiJutsu scroll in Sarutobi's Library was piled onto the long center desk that ran through the dead center of it. Naruto sat looking for a hand-to-hand combat style that fit him. Nothing in particular fit his style. Nothing yelled 'Naruto!' He did, however find some styles that interested him.

Kyukushin

Kyushojutsu

Bajiquan

Muay Thai

All of those shared some sort of remnant of him, and nailed the basics of one area of hand-to hand combat. If only he could combine them, then he would have a style he could refine and call his own. But the solution is exactly the problem. Naruto knew nothing about hand-to hand combat. He was an armless street brawler on a good day. It seemed like an impossible task. Maybe the Hokage knew…

XXXXXX

"Oyaji! How can I do alotta stuff at once?" Naruto asked the Hokage, praying for an answer.

He looked up from his paperwork, "Kage Bunshin, it should be in that scroll I left you."

Naruto palmed his forehead, "I completely forgot about that!"

"If that is all Naruto, I have to be in peace, which is hard when you're around. I need to do alotta paperwork." Sarutobi shooed Naruto away as he scrawled his pen to the evil paper.

Naruto shut the mahogany doors and ran off, footsteps thumping down the stairs.

The Sandaime froze. _'How can I do alotta stuff at once?' _That repeated over, and over again in his head. "Kage Bunshin…" He muttered to himself. He snapped his pen and slammed his fist, making a little dent in the fine wood.

"FUCK!"

XXXXXX

Naruto moved all the TaiJutsu scrolls and placed the enormous scroll on the edge of the gargantuan table. He bit his thumb and broke the seal like it was second nature. The scroll started opening on its own and rolled until it was just a log. He noticed it was organized through an unorthodox color system. It reminded him of a scrambled rainbow…

He noticed a note, written so you see it as soon as it was cracked.

_Hello son!_

_You just opened up The Complete and Organized Collection of Namikaze Minato's and Uzumaki Kushina's Personal Jutsu Big-Ass Scroll of Awesomeness! …Or TCOCNMUKPJBASA is you're good with acronyms. _

_Yeah, sorry for sealing that fox in you. That was Plan Z and the other twenty-five didn't work. I hope you understand. Desperate times call for an even more desperate measure. So, in pittance, I leave you this Scroll with all my techniques and training exercises. Most of the Jutsu you will find in here will be Suiton, Raiton, and Fuuton. Those were me and your mom's elements. If you want your mom's note, check near the back. Notes like these will be posed everywhere throughout this scroll. They have instructions on how to it, and how you can use them in a prank. Yep, I was a prankster. I spent more time planning and committing pranks then I did doing paperwork._

_Now, the order of the color coding goes as follows…_

_FuninJutsu - Red_

_NinJutsu - Blue_

_Chakra Training - Purple_

_Physical Training - Green_

_Namikaze Minato's Personal Skills - Yellow_

_The light the shade of color, the easier it is. Vise-versa with darker shades._

_I hope you use this well. Try to get your face next to mine. I posed smiling, but the council had different ideas. Here's a tip if you didn't already know, the council is full of dumbasses. If you do become Hokage, change the academy. Any retard can walk through it called a genius. And if you meet an old fart named 'Jiraiya,' don't let him corrupt you like he did me! It's not my fault his books are good…_

_Your dad,_

_Yondaime Hokage_

_Namikaze Minato_

There was doubt about it, this man was his father. Naruto shook his head at his father's antics. He patted his back pouch protectively, _'Sorry dad. His books are really good…' _ He ran to the blue section to find what he was looking for. It was well correlated, had pictures and a step by step process to make learning it easier.

_Kage Bunshin (B5)_

_S-Class Forbidden Technique of Kohonagakure_

_Forbidden is an odd work defined by Kohona's standards. If it killed the caster, it's forbidden! Well, in that case, every jutsu should be forbidden. Hell, I've seen someone fall off a cliff with a Kawarimi before._

_Anyway, Kage Bunshin is a handy technique that lets you split your chakra into clones. These clones have a solid body, unlike regular bunshins. These clones can't take a hit, but the ability to cast jutsus makes up for it though. _

_They also have a neat ability. When they dispel, all if their memories and experience goes to you. These are great for a spy or a reconnaissance mission. You can really do a thousand things at once. I'm not kidding in the least. I once put laxatives in all the food supplies with these and my _Hiraishin (See Hiraishin no Jutsu Y15).

_If you can't do a regular bunshin because you have a massive chakra capacity, then this will be a breeze. You'll make so many copies, bunnies will be jealous._

_In addition to the earlier tricks, this one is good to. There is a Jutsu that will detonate in an explosion ten times bigger explosion than an exploding tag (See Bunshin Daibakuha B11). If they Henge into a fly, the explosion radius will be the same. That's what's so great about these clones. There is very little they can't accomplish. _

_To do this Jutsu, simply put your hands in a cross-seal shown above, focus you chakra, visualize the clones, and then split your chakra evenly by how many clones you want._

His eyes widened. This made 'forbidden' look like child's play. He already tried the regular bunshin, only to get shot down. Kyuubi told him, **"Do not try shoving a rope through a needle. Simply get a bigger needle." **If that was the case, he had one big needle now. He did the seal and muttered Kage Bunshin. In a poof of smoke, four clones were accounted for.

'_Wait, if these clones have chakra… Then the clones can make clones.'_ He pushed his goggles to his forehead. "Make 249 clones each. Get a TaiJutsu scroll and study," He pointed to the clone on the left, "Kyukushin," He moved right then on, "Kyushojutsu, Bajiquan, and Muay Thai. Get to it!" They nodded in response.

Naruto didn't even bother sticking by to watch. It was Saturday…

XXXXXX

Naruto happily ate his ramen as Ayame kept working the assembly line. He was going for a record today. Sarutobi said only ten. He never said ten of what. Stacks? Dozens? That wasn't necessarily true, but playing stupid worked before. There were five stacks of six bowls on his left. After the first stack, he drew a crowd. People assembled and started placing bets. Some even came and challenged him. He already ate through six Akimichis already. Some came in and tried it, getting hooked instantly. People were chatting about, like, 'How does he not get fat?' or 'Holy fuck…'

Some weren't even talking about his eating.

"A guy with a fashion sense, that's hard to come across," a woman said, lustfully gazing his way.

"Yeah, the way the black compliments his yellow hair, and his orange coat with his too tight blue shirt," A Yamanaka woman stated.

"Screw the clothes! Those goggles and that mask give him such a mysterious aura!" Another woman cried. Then each of those three let out a sigh simultaneously.

Every man that listened in to that was thinking, _'I have GOT to get a mask…'_

"Ah! Thirty six, new record! Thanks Ayame, you too oyaji!" Naruto thanked the ramen chefs and left a healthy sum of money on the counter. He readjusted his masks and left the ramen stand, oblivious to the crowd watching. He walked the streets back to Sarutobi's Library. He put one foot in front of the other instinctively. Lost in thought, he trudged through the streets.

'_I should revisit my FuninJutsu scrolls, but I already have clones working on TaiJutsu. Might as well finish what I started.'_

XXXXXX

Step by step, Naruto made his way to the public training grounds. It seems The Sandaime got back from a council meeting and needed to blow steam at his personal training grounds. He made sure not to go there.

Naruto changed his attire for training also. A red sleeveless shirt, black cargo shorts that covered his knees, tabi, and bandages around his forearms and shins. He still had his black cloth mask, but he replaced his goggles for sunglasses. He looked at the sun's position in the sky. _'Woah, it's been five hours since I made those clones. Not one has dispelled yet.'_ Naruto made and handseal, and promptly passed out on the streets.

XXXXXX

He opened his eyes to see that his right lens was cracked because of the fall. _'Great, I just got those too…' _His hands glided across his temples, trying to ease his massive headache, _'That's what I get for not thinking anything through. Not to self, dispel large groups of clones one at a time or in small sections.' _He looked around to see and unfamiliar surrounding. He was in a training area, that he knew. Clues are the beaten wooden posts and dummies. More importantly, how did he get here?

"Ah, I see being unconscious has not diminished your flames of YOUTH!" A voice beside him yelled. Naruto scurried away and leaned against a tree, heart racing. That wasn't the only thing the scared him though…

Greased black hair pressed to a bowl cut…

A green jumpsuit that hugged certain anatomies that shouldn't be…

And the eyebrows… They were leeches attached to his forehead. They were too big to be real. The only thing okay about this guy was the orange leg warmers.

Naruto then spoke the only name he could the fit one of the criteria, "Commander Amarao? Isn't your hair red?"

The man blinked, and then looked downcast. He dug in his pouch and pulled out a manga book. There was a page bookmarked and he flipped it open to the corresponding page. He showed Naruto, "You mean this guy?"

"Ooohhh… oops," Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"It's okay. It happens more than I'd like," He cleared his throat and his dampened mood was replaced instantly, "YOSH! My name is Maito Gai! TaiJutsu specialist extraordinaire!"

Naruto's eyes widened, "You're a TaiJutsu Specialist?"

"Since you didn't hear me, I'll say it again louder. **YOSH!! MY NAM-"**

"No!" Naruto stopped the man before he could continue, "I was ju… Never mind. I need to talk to you about something, an idea I have." He then explained his theory of combining the TaiJutsu styles he previously chose. He also told the eccentric man that he was already barely average on the styles, thanks to his clones.

"Hmm…" Gai's eyebrows furrowed as he thought of what to do, "Before we do any of this, your body has to be in extreme physical condition! Tell me something my youthful associate. Do you have any weights to aid your training?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Sorta…" Gai raised an eyebrow in question. The masked man pulled off his shirt. On his right pectoralis major (chest muscle, google it) was a seal. It looked like a turbine fan, and was spinning slowly across his skin.

Gai looked amazed at the spectacle, "What is that?"

"It's a **Genshuku Fuu, **it increases the pull gravity has on my body, making weights unneeded. With a simple handseal, its effects are negated," Naruto explained, "It's right now set to 1.5x. It's a type of suicide training, but my body heals abnormity fast."

"That is a truly amazing seal my hip youthful associate!" Gai shouted, obviously impressed with what Naruto created. He retreated back to his thinking position. He cleared his throat and continued, "Well, from what you told me. You need assistance with your pet-project. I would be more than glad to help! Only if, you join me in my training sessions…'

The blond shrugged his shoulders, "Why not? What do you do anyway?"

He smiled, which left a hearable 'ping', "First I do 500 push-ups, 500 sit ups, 500 pull ups, and fifty laps around Kohona as a warm up. Then I-"

Naruto visibly paled.

XXXXXX

His training went on, but now we go to his foxy companion.

Kyuubi was on top of the Hokage Building, staring at the clouds. That was all he could do really. He looked left, AMBU, right, another AMBU. Kyuubi was the center-star in a twelve point compass rose. There was another, but he could never find him. He always followed the scent of dog until he was at a dead end.

Kyuubi spaced out at the sky, finding many different shapes and things one would find on a strong hallucinogenic drug. It was relaxing, but he was more of a wreak havoc and mayhem kind of guy.

He sighed, **"You all should have something more productive do to, correct?" **No response. There never was. It was something Kyuubi did to pass the time. Kyuubi in truth couldn't even lift a paw without his watchers twitching to their kunai's.

Kyuubi sat up and shook his body, ruffling his fur back into place. _**'That is it! I need to speak with Monkey-Boy!'**_

The fox walked gracefully to the Hokage's office and sat down. His head meet the ceiling violently. He winced and shrunk to the size of a fox kit, his accessories doing the same. He leaped up onto the desk and glared at the Hokage.

"**I want these guards to pull away, NOW" **His usual intimating approach was cut short from his cute exterior. He noticed something wrong with his voice, **"WHAT THE HELL!?" **Kyuubi's deep-bass voice went up a couple dozen octaves. It was squeaky, high-pitched, and totally threw off powerful aura he resonated.

"Sorry, Kyu. After you're the council found out, this was the closest thing they'd allow," Sarutobi tried not to laugh from the 'Almighty Demon' that was perched on his desk.

Kyuubi used a claw to readjust his sunglasses, **"Alright Monkey-Boy, what do I have to do to earn these fools' trust?"**

Sarutobi dug in a portfolio and out on some reading glasses, "The council said, 'Judging by the demon's power, he could easily pull off hundreds of S-rank missions."

"**That's it?"**

He shook his head, "If he truly was the King of All Demons, Master of persuasive techniques, knew every Shinobi technique known to man, and was cleaver as he claimed, he could easily make an organized team to help and protect Kohona."

Normally, this would discourage the demon. Working with humans was never good. But there was one thing lawyers loved that he could exploit, loopholes, **"Make an organized team… That will be easy. Excuse me for a moment Monkey-Boy." **

Kyuubi dashed to Naruto's room to find him passed out on the bed. **"Kit, get up… Come on, rise and shine blonde," **Kyuubi shook the bed, trying to get his ex-cage up. No response, he still was dead. Kyuubi checked the tattoo on his foreleg. The thin inner ring was faintly glowing. _**'Good, that gives me just enough chakra.'**_

In a poof of smoke, he turned into a buxom nude redhead with nine red fox tails and matching ears. He dove on to Naruto and traced circles in his chest. In a lustful voice, he cooed, **"Wakey wakey hands of snakey Naruto-kun…"**

Naruto groggy heaved up his head and peered through his squinted eyes. A normal man would have shot to the ceiling in dual blood cannons. As we know, Naruto is far from normal. This wasn't the first time Kyuubi roused his sleep in that particular form, "Whaddya want Kyu?"

He poofed back to his chibi fox form, _**'That was anti-climatic…' **_In his squeaky voice, he replied, **"I need five tails of chakra."** Naruto in response filled his finger with chakra. He started from the '**IX**' and went out six rings and stopped. The rings glowed a bright red, showing that each tail was full. His one tail split into six equal tails, increasing a little in length. Kyuubi nodded and left, leaving Naruto to his exhausted slumber.

XXXXXX

On a giant stone slab, Kyuubi stood in his regular size in the center of a carved seal graph. Any seal master could tell it was a type off summoning seal, but that was it. Demonic and regular seals weren't even on par with each other. The seal it's self was a general triangle shape, with a wide circle at each corner.

Kyuubi closed his eyes in concentration. A fire of red chakra emitted from his body. It slowly filled the carved stone, making the seal inscriptions seem like lava filling through a small crack. Once the seals were completely filled, He slammed his paws on the stone, causing a giant plume of smoke to conceal the area. Once the smoke cleared, three eight-tailed foxes appeared.

One was a jet black, with neon-green glowing eyes. His fur was matty, spiked, resembling needles. He had a bandanna covering his head. It had the metal plate with the fox carved in it, and slits cut for the ears to fill. His forelegs were bandaged, and there was no other clothing on him. The thing that was most noticeable was the green flames at his paws. They burned with fury, but the ground stood intact.

The second was a dark mahogany with white tipped-tails, paws, snout, and ears. He had half-lidded dull grey eyes. A collar around his neck bore the same symbol as his companions on a metal plate. He wore a trench coat that had multiple pouches and pockets. He gave an aura that was frightening, yet calming.

The third was a brilliant gold, though she reflected no light. Her eyes were a deep cerulean, almost a gently waving ocean. A collar, loose around her neck, had the same symbol the others had. Her feet were black, much like Kyuubi's. She was the smallest of the three, but had an agile, fast build. She had a blue vest with the fox head brush-stoked across it.

"**Whud da fuck G? S' been wha? Seven years since jo' been rollin' wid us?" **The jet one replied in a baritone voice.

"**Yes Fudo, it's been far too long. I noticed your form of speech has yet to change," **Kyuubi replied, unable to hide his smirk.

"**Pshh, you still disin a brotha,"** Kyuubi only shook his head.

"**Please ignore him Kyu-san, even if it is hard…" **The gold one quipped in a melodic tone.

"**You need to bet back to a friendly basis again. The last thing we want is a full scale brawl between you two." **The mahogany replied laying down, chin level with the ground.

"**What ****Bakugekiki? Are you afraid of getting caught in the cross fire?" **Kyuubi taunted.

**"What do you think?" **the lazy one drawled out. A tail bashed each one on the head, causing them to become momentarily stunned.

**"Quit your senseless bickering, all of you!" **The golden one said, drawing her tails back behind her.

A 'Sorry Yumi-san' mumbled through the air.

**"Thank you Yumi-san,"**Kyuubi said to the golden fox. She in response beamed proudly.**"FOX Unit, you were summoned to aid me in doing quests and missions for this pesky village. I can not even take a piss without being watched. I would do this myself, but it is required for me to have a team. Plus, it has been awhile since you roamed the Earth."**

**"Fusho…" **Fudo stated.

Kyuubi shook his head and continued,**"A warning, ever since Uchiha Madara summoned me and made me attack Kohona, this village is no longer friendly with foxes of any kind. Scare them and we get attacked, let them walk on us and we will be forced to take action. Balance team."**

He looked at Fudo,**"No killing, or rampages because you feel like it…"**he only smiled,**"Da hos need to know their place." **Kyuubi shook his head once more.

Kyuubi turned to Yumi,**"Do what you do when necessary… Other than that, leave the 'Righteous Pervert Beatings' to the other women."**She twitched.

**"You Baku… Just do what you do. But do not squish someone when you decide it is naptime,"**Kyuubi said to his lazy acquaintance.**"Hey, I'm a narcoleptic only because I choose to be," **He tried defending himself. The others just sweat-dropped.

Kyuubi continued once more,**"Okay FOX Unit, go to chibi form and we shall do a mission or two." **

**"Why should we listin to ya? We got eight tails, sho got six! Dat means we da big cheese 'round here!" **Fudo stated, taunting Kyuubi from his unfortunate circumstances.

**"What I made out from your horrendous language, was that you are disrespecting my authority," ****Kyuubi stalked forward to Fudo, one paw directly in front of the other, ****"I picked you and your whole pack from the deepest part of the worst ghetto, and let you remain leader of that very pack. I asked of nothing in return, and I sure as hell did not expect this is as compensation."**

The black fox looked down in shame,**"Sorry Kyu, just poking fun, that's all…" ****he carved circles in the stone.**

**"It is quite alright Fudo. By your manner of speech, I could easily see that you truly meant what you said,"**Kyuubi remarked lifting his head with a paw.

**"'Ight, 'ight, jus don go expectin' me ta talk like dat all duh time," **Fudo replied, originating back to his former speech.

**"I naught expect it. If that is all, let us be going." **With that said, they shifted into chibi form and they dashed off.

XXXXXX

Naruto and Gai were standing in their battle positions on a training field. The Youthful warrior was in his Goken stance. Naruto was in a strange battle position. He was on all fours, his back legs were a half a foot wider than his shoulders. His forelegs were crossed in an 'X', ready to pounce. Naruto ripped part of his shirt off, bit his thumb, and wiped his blood on his gravity seal. He pumped his hands full of chakra, making his claws diamond hard and two inches longer.

Gai reached to his legs and dropped his weighs, them leaving small craters at their wake. He reached into his kunai holster and tossed it in the air. "At the fall…" He said. Naruto nodded.

Their muscles tensed as they watched the blade flip in the air. It planted its self in the ground and they were off. Nothing was of the two fighters were visible. Footprints were sometimes imbedded into the bark of a tree. Sometimes a random tree was just turned into splinters. Another tree would fall to the ground diced into cubes. After five minutes if them battling, they returned to their respective places.

Naruto was covered with welts and bruises. Gai's suit was covered with scratches and claw marks, each gash bleeding a small amount of blood. Gai's method of fighting was using direct bone breaking strength. Naruto used speed to move around the enemy to deliver painful slashes to dice them into fish food. Each style was the exact opposite of each other.

If Gai stood still and punched a tree, it would splinter. If Naruto did that, he'd dent it at best. If Naruto got a running start, he'd blast the tree all the way through the forest. Naruto's power was centered in speed in momentum. In his six months of training, he has built his speed to unreal levels. He'd outrun Gai in speed and endurance on more than one occasion. But he was strong though. He could easily knock out a person if he got them in the face.

He had tried to use his fist to fight, but it didn't seem natural. By using elements of Muay Thai and Bajiquan, every part of his body was a weapon. His knees and elbows worked just as good as his hands and feet. Naruto, using that, felt more at home then the standard punch and kick. Kyukushin's training made his body stretch to its physical elements. Pain no longer fazed him, but that did not mean he was immune to it. Kyushoujutsu required precision to jam the pressure points closed. Instead of closing them, Naruto could sever a vein or joints using his claws.

"…Let's call it a day?" Naruto suggested.

"Yeah, I need to patch these before I bleed to death," Gai winced as he eyed his now red suit.

XXXXXX

Naruto arrived at the training fields extra early today. He was writing down some ideas for a business. He thought of an odd job kind of thing. Like you ask a favor, and we'll do it for a price. He's drawn a symbol, and even thought of a name, but couldn't find of a place to set shop.

"What are you doing Naruto?" Gai asked, curious to what his sparing partner and friend could be up to.

"Making a business. I don't know where to set up shop though…" Naruto explained, his pen tapping his chin in concentration.

"I know a good place! It's kind of out of the way though…" Gai answered Naruto's unasked question.

XXXXXX

Naruto followed Gai through Kohona. They were six buildings away from the Hokage Tower. They turned left into a dark alley way. They went right again and through what looked like cellar doors. It opened up to reveal a long staircase, and at the end of that a lighted hallway. Past that was a large steel door. The door had a slide panel for seeing through, like top secret rooms or exclusive clubs have. The duo opened it and looked at the room inside. The room could It be compared to a ballroom in size, but that was it. It had unfinished floors, yet to be painted drywall that overlapped stone, and fluorescent lightning hanging by well worn wires (Alliterations are sweet). There was another door at the other end, but he ignored that for now.

"Okay Gai, who do I talk to in order to buy this place?" Naruto asked, nearly jumping at the place Gai showed him.

"The Hokage," He answered. "Why do you want a place like this anyway?" the green clad man asked. He was in all good interest in asking. He wasn't questioning his methods at all. But this place was a piece of shit. It would take a lot more money to fix than it would to buy.

"You'll see Gai… You'll see."

XXXXXX

A giant hunk of iron was sitting in upon a stump in a field. The metal was maybe three feet wide, and seven feet tall. It suddenly fell into small cubes in a small breeze. Naruto appeared in a three point stance, one hand out with his claws slowly shrinking.

"I love these claws…" Naruto murmured, eyeing his hand. He watched in interest as the claws shrunk back to their regular half-inch length.

"Very good Naruto, I'm impressed to say the least. It's safe to say that after a year or so, you perfected your own personal TaiJutsu style," Gai rubbed his wet eyes, "Way to go my youthful eternal rival!" He gave a 'good guy' pose, the teeth ping missing.

It felt weird looking a Gai after what Naruto did to him. Gai challenged him to 'Who can get the most girl's numbers before sunset'. Needless to say, Gai was slaughtered. Gai ran to Naruto asking why. The orange clad man was surprised he didn't know.

To be honest, Naruto was pretty blunt about it. That was not a pick-me-up for Gai's dismay. Naruto gathered some of his drooling fans and paid them to make him presentable to regular company. He was amazed with what they did. Naruto also found out some disturbing facts about his exocentric colleague.

For one, He dyed his hair black to keep it 'youthful'. His hair was actually a dark brown. Gai's eyebrows were not made of nori. They were, in fact, attached to his forehead. One obvious thing was that Gai whitened his teeth.

His appearance now could blow any woman off her feet. In fact they tied 48 – 48 in their phone number challenge, making their score 176 – 176 – 32.

Gai wore black tabi with matching shinobifuku pants. A dark green sleeveless shirt covered his chest, as his headband still stayed at his waist. His forearms were protected by the same bandaging, as were his bi and triceps. A foot long, thick, brown braid ran down his back. That connected to his hair that frayed from the crown.

Naruto shook his head to regain his focus, "Thanks Gai, I would challenge you to finish off, but I need to walk home today."

Gai bellowed a deep laugh, "Whatever suits you Naruto. Say hi to Kyuubi for me,"

He waved goodbye to his 'eternal rival' and left for some well deserved sleep in a bed he hasn't slept in since Kami knows when. During his training, he didn't sleep in his bed at Sarutobi's place. He slept in a motel room, or he just dropped dead on the training field. He tried going to his bed during the very beginning, but after Gai was done with him, he didn't want to limp that far. Yes, Naruto couldn't wait to sleep in a real bed.

Naruto opened his bedroom door and was greeted by a nice surprise. Baku, Fudo, Kyuubi, and Yumi were curled up, snoozing away on his bed. His eye visibly twitched, "You guys got five seconds."

Their eyes shot open and they took off. Naruto then fell onto his bed, and fell asleep instantly. The foxes' heads slowly crept up over the top of the bed. "**Kyu-san, is he asleep?" **

"**It looks as though…" **Kyuubi concluded. He pushed his eyelids open to see his pupils rolled back, **"Yes, he will be out for awhile. Let us take full advantage of it."**

"**Fusho! Let's raid dis bitch's ramen stash!" **Fudo suggested, licking his chops.

"**Ramen? I'd say we steal his wallet and get some dango."** Baku drawled

"**Sounds like a plan. Plus, I haven't seen Anko in awhile…"**

"**We are not going for female conversations of any kind, but I will not stop you if you choose to do so. Fudo, pickpocket him and cheese it before Monkey-Boy comes."**

Fudo cleared his throat, making his voice sound like a poorly peasant, **"Tonight, we dine like kings!"**

An 'ahem' was sent his way. Bakugekiki rolled his eyes,**"Calm down Yumi, it's justa saying."**

Her eyed narrowed. This wasn't over…

XXXXXX

Maa… I didn't change much. But what I did change will matter soon. You may see I changed his fighting style. I reread my work and said aloud, "What the hell is this?"

That was me being lazy. I apologize…

**AfAs**


	4. IV: The Ultimate Orgy!

Hah

Even now, I still laugh at this chapter's title.

XXXXXX

Naruto walked towards the memorial, holding an unopened pack of ramen as a gift for the dead. It was silly, but he knew from his dad's notes that he lived for ramen. Plus, Naruto couldn't even think of a better gift for his deceased father. He made his way through the training area.

He changed his look a little. He also wore a bandanna around his hair. People gave him odd looks from his hair color. That was bad. The Hokage told him to blend in. He was head strong on following his advice. He recalled his meeting Jiraiya. Things then could have gotten ugly real fast.

Naruto kneeled at the KIA stone. He touched his father's name. _'Namikaze Minato'_ carved into the hunk of obsidian. The ramen slipped from his hand.

"It's too bad you're not here huh? I never did what kids usually do. I never played catch, or slid down a big yellow slide. But I don't blame you for it. You said yourself, _'It was plan Z, and the other twenty-five didn't work…'_" Naruto spoke to the wind. He herd a faint clinking noise. He looked at the bracelet Jiraiya gave him; the little piece of metal was shaking rapidly. …Someone was watching him.

Hatake Kakashi was squatted in a branch, witnessing the display. He was watching aphetically until he quoted sensei. When Minato said that, Kakashi was positive he was the only one present. He was not a familiar face, but Kakashi knew he had ties to the Yondaime Hokage. The question was, how? He leaped down to confront him.

Naruto looked up at his visitor. He had silver gravity defying hair, a headband that covered his left eye, a mask like he wore under his bandanna, and a standard Jounin uniform. From textbooks he read and pictures he saw, he looked exactly like the fabled 'White Fang of Kohona'.

He got up from his squat, "Do you need something?" He asked politely. Good first impressions were a must after all.

His only visible eye was narrowed in suspicion. "Who are you?"

"Take a guess, the list is pretty small. If you pick at random you're probably close," Naruto responded, reaching in his back pouch. He pulled out the eighth edition to Icha Icha Paradise. _'Fuck first impressions…'_

"I have a guess, but there's no way that could be right," Kakashi stated.

He disappeared in a flash. A _yellow_ flash. From behind him, he herd a voice, "See for yourself…"

The silver haired jounin turned his head slowly. There he stood masks and bandannas off and his goggles rose. He had his book in his left hand, his right lifting up his shirt, revealing a swirling seal, ever present on his navel. But the seal had changed drastically. There was a large vertical gash in it, like a black scar that did not heal properly. The seal its self glowed a fiery blue, much like chakra. His appearance answered questions and raised more.

Naruto answered the question before he could ask, "He's out of his cage." Kakashi's eyes widened. Naruto raised his left sleeve. On his forearm was an** 'IX'** tattoo, much like the one Kyuubi had. "I just recently added this. It lets me keep a leash on him and monitor how much power he has."

"Well, what's he doing now? I have yet to see any fox run around Kohona since the attack." Kakashi asked, still hungry for information.

"You have herd of the AMBU's FOX Unit, correct?" Naruto asked. Kakashi nodded. Naruto cleared his throat and continued, "Kyuubi himself leads that, with three of his friends."

"Amazing… You mean in a span of one year, Kyuubi did over one hundred S-Class missions?" Kakashi questioned bewildered. The average AMBU member only did six before he/she went insane or died on the field.

"Yep…" Naruto deadpanned, flipping a page in his smut.

"…Can I borrow that?" Kakashi asked. He dug in his pouch and revealed his own book, "I only have up to seven…"

"That all depends, why do you read these?" Naruto questioned, his piercing, blue, demonic eyes peering over the top of the book. None shall make hand-party on his literature.

"For the drama of course!" Kakashi responded, hugging his book and petting it softly.

Naruto closed the book and tossed it his way. He caught it and pocketed the erotic novel. "Your name is Hatake Kakashi correct? Kakashi of the Sharigan, Copy-cat Ninja of the Ten Thousand Jutsu?"

Kakashi sighed, "Yes…"

"Your nicknames suck ass!" Naruto deadpanned, not really caring what he thought.

"Hey I didn't choose it. Someone once called me 'The Mirror Ninja Hatake Kakashi', I thought that was cooler. But alas… One can't choose their aliases, that would be retarded," He explained. He then raised an eyebrow, sending a questioning look, "Why do you want to know?"

"My father, who you probably already guessed, said you could help me with ninjutsu. And he also told me to teach you his legendary technique…"

XXXXXX

Naruto pushed chakra into the paper, if first crumbled, then split in half, and finally it got soaked with unseen water.

"Okay, you specialize in lightning, wind, and water jutsus," Kakashi explained, "That gives us a lot to work with."

XXXXX

Naruto was sitting crossed legged, floating over a lake, deep in mediation. Geysers of water shot all around him, and stayed constant, always flushing liquid in the air. Naruto then floated to the top, wind whistling through the hole in the water. A cloud of foggy mist blanketed the water's surface. With a tremor and deep boom, lighting circled the rising water. There was also a multicolored glow, visible beneath his clothes.

Naruto created a dazzling display of the elements for anyone watching. Over the year, thanks to his clones and his attitude for being stubborn and head strong, he nearly mastered his techniques. He could control the weather, fly using a tool he developed, create floods and torrents of water, and bend lightning to his will.

He had a major advantage over anybody, and power at his disposal, but power comes with a price.

XXXXXX

_Naruto checked his appearance in the mirror. He was skin clad, only in boxers. Intricate seals covered his skin. They stretched everywhere throughout his entire body. His face had lines coming from his neck to his eyes, much like Jiraiya. His right arm was covered in lightning blots, stretching to each of his fingers. His left had waves of every shape and size, swirls, droplets of water, and tide spraying across his wrist. His legs were painted with swaying trees, flying sakura blossoms, and tornados ripping tiles off houses. There was also a small lightning blot, a single droplet of water, and swirling leafs, in a glyph of his back. His body was head to toe inked it varying diagrams, shapes, swirls of all kinds. _

_After Jiraiya departed, he started a project and worked on it from time to time. Gai's training slowed down his progress in his seals, but with Kakashi's arrival, he restarted it. The seals originally gave control to each element. From that, there would be no weakness on the battlefield. The strain for that to happen was too great, even for Naruto's demon altered physique. Five elements was instant death, and the chances for living gradually increased for each one less._

_Unlike the Kyuubi's releasing, these were here to stay. They lucky only appeared when he used, or molded chakra._

_His body was a walking piece of art, or a disgusting freak show. Opinions are not easily swayed._

_But whenever he let Kyuubi's presence overtake him, he turned into a rampaging beast, hell-bent on sloughing, killing, and destroying everything in sight. Granted, he could still use the fox's chakra, but only as a slight power up in jutsus and techniques. And instead of the original chakra replenish rate of twice the normal speed, the demonic chakra took six times the average rate to fill. _

_He lost his ability to turn demon, to turn temporally invisible. He had to depend on strategy and his wits in battle now._

XXXXX

Naruto stopped his mediation, and descended slowly to the water's surface. Naruto ran at a good pace and grabbed something on his back, throwing it on the water. It expanded and started gliding across the surface. He hopped on it, leaned forward, and pushed chakra to the board. Water exploded behind him as he shot across the water's surface. He stomped his front foot down, crashing into the lake and sending him flying through the air in front flips.

Naruto balanced out in midair after a few seconds. He blinked out the water in his eyes. Naruto shook his head, his wet sideburns whipping his face. After his hair was relatively dry, he pushed even more chakra to his board, increasing his altitude.

He looked down at his almost magical device. An orange six foot by ten inch board met his eyes. The back end was black, and tribal tattoos stretched into the board, almost as to reach the other side. Seals covered the opposite side, allowing the conversion of chakra into emitting strong air currents. It took two months out of his spare time, and his ramen budget to make it. To Naruto, it was more that worth it.

"Well, better see Kakashi… Or rather 'Kohona's Ghost Wolf'," He spoke to no one, smiling at his companions newest given nickname. Naruto turned the mournful pussy into a warrior. Punching someone in the face was an unorthodox way to get a point across…

But Naruto had a strange way of doing things…

XXXXX

_Naruto checked his watch. It flashed 14:07. _'The bastard should have been here at ELEVEN IN THE FUCKING MORNING!'_ The blond thought, blood vessel visible on his forehead. _'Respecting the dead is great and all… But if he's stuck in the past he might as well kill himself to join his fallen friends.'

_Naruto went to the KIA Memorial stone. Guess who was there?_

_Naruto slowly walked up to Kakashi, pushing chakra into his fist. "Hey Kockashi!" He called. He turned to see who needed him, a little peeved at the nickname. Using the speed and strength Gai taught him, he slammed his fist into the scarecrow's face. He flew back and his back crashed violently into a tree, splitting the wood from the trunk. _

"_Sorry tree, I need to teach a friend a lesson!" Naruto apologized to the poor defenseless tree. Any onlooker watching the scene would believe the blond shinobi to be insane. Not everyday someone said sorry to a tree._

_Kakashi peeled himself of the ground, Naruto helped him up by grabbing his collar and holding him eye level. "You think you're honoring the dead by wasting your life saying what you should of done!? If Obito really did sacrifice his life for yours, then don't make his death vain!"_

"_Your father killed himself. His death note said, 'live in my honor; use my blade to carve your own path'. What did you do? You put it in a mantle behind glass! You and I both know you only joined AMBU hoping you die to join their names on the stone!" He yelled. Naruto punched Kakashi in the face once more, sending him skidding across the ground. _

_Kakashi landed on his back, groaning from the beating. He flipped to his stomach and peered opened his eye. There was Naruto, holding out his hand to help him up. He grasped it firmly and got to his feet. Naruto now spoke softly, "You're still alive, make the best of it."_

XXXXX

Naruto knew it was Sunday; the day Kakashi reserved honoring the dead. He no longer did it on a daily basis. Naruto slowly descended, causing the trees to bend and leaves to swirl from the wind. Naruto hopped off the board, causing it to shrink into a one foot by ten inch rectangle. He put into a pouch on his back and waved hello to his best friend.

Kakashi now wore dark blue samurai-like armor over a white battle kimono. Three sheathed swords adorned his right side, held by a black obi. One was a basic ninjato, a longer and thicker than normal katana, and his father's sword. White tabi and wooden sandals covered his feet. A snarling wolf mask covered his masked face. It was snow white. The left eye was blood-red of the sharingan, as the right was the dark blue. His white clothing was not the ordinary apparel. Whenever he was in the shade, it turned into the exact shade of darkness he was in, almost chameleon like. When the shadows concealed him, people only saw floating armor and a mask, thus his given nickname. His bad ass exterior was sometimes thrown off by him pulling out his smut every now and then.

…Naruto still has yet to get that book back.

"Hey Kakashi! You wanna go prank the village Monday? It's been awhile since we cut loose," Naruto suggested.

Both of his eyes curled into his signature upside down 'U', "Sure! Maybe later we can soak Anko's panties in rotten meat!"

Naruto laughed at the suggested prank. It was true they were powerful, but they were better known as 'Kohona's Yancha Dyuo'. They never did get caught, but they were the only ones that haven't filed out a complaint to the Hokage. He didn't mind the extra paperwork at all. He was to busy reading Jiraiya's books to care as his clones did the work.

Kakashi reopened his eyes, looking at Naruto's new appearance. He still wore the orange cloak, but that was it. He in place for a shirt wore bandages that covered half his abs. His **Genshuku Fuu **was for all to see, spinning rapidly. He pitched his bandannas, and always had his goggles on his forehead. He still wore his mask; he honestly couldn't leave home without it. Naruto said fuck it before, plus, people were bound to find out sooner or later. He kept his black pants and tabi, but now were black gauntlets that had strange metallic grip on the palms. Naruto also took up kenjustu. He had a tanto at each bicep, a katana at his back, and a wakizashi and his waist going horizontally across his back. Kakashi also noticed the lack of a Ninja headband.

He twitched. Kakashi knew he was lazy, but his friend was just pushing it. He could have been at the top of the ranks, even before they met. He had indescribable speed, The Hiriashin only adding to it. Naruto never had a problem with combat, thanks to Gai's tutelage. Chakra oozed from every pore in his body. He needed to be a shinobi, pronto.

His became half-lidded, blankly staring at the orange-clad man, "You need to become a ninja. I doubt you have a valid reason why you're not.

"Ehh… You think I should sign up as a shinobi yet? I like my free ramen, and if I join Oyaji's forces he'll make me pay…" Naruto grimly stated. Kakashi sweatdropped. Okay, time to barter.

"Yeah, but you'll rake in money like nothing else. He'll make you Tokubetsu Jounin for sure if you don't choose to go to AMBU." Kakashi stated.

"Fine, I'll join. But I'm sure as hell going out with a bang!" Naruto added.

XXXXX

Deidara sneezed. He wiped the snot from his upper lip as he flung it off his hand. "Some fucker is talking about again…"

XXXXX

"Please tell me what you are planning later. I wish to know what devious deed you come up with," Kakashi pondered aloud, his mismatched eyes peering through the holes in his mask. He could now use his eye 24/7 without suffering any consequences. All thanks to Kyuubi's tampering.

XXXXXX

_Kakashi eyed the fox cautiously. "Oh relax, he won't hurt you." Naruto comforted Kakashi. _

_Kyuubi twitched, _**'Who says I will not hurt him! …He somehow smells familiar. Where the hell have I smelled dog before?' **

"_Sorry, you must remember I the first time I saw him, it wasn't under friendly circumstances," He recalled, laxing his guard._

_Kyuubi eyed Kakashi's face curiously, __**"You, ningen… why do you hide one of your eyes?"**_

_He raised the headband, revealing the slowly spinning sharigan eye. __**"Ahh, like Madara's… Hmm, it seems your body is rejecting the eye."**_

"_How do you know this?" Kakashi asked._

"_**For one, it is an organ transplant. And second, I created the bloodline. Every bloodline in existence started from some demon one way or another. Would you like me to alter you anatomy to adjust to your eye?" **__Kyuubi offered._

"_Just as long as you do nothing else…" _

"_**Consider it a penitence for my deeds of the past."**__ One of Kyuubi's tails fished through Kakashi's pouch._

"_**Bite this…" **__One of Kyuubi's tails held a kunai. Kakashi bit the handle through his mask. With a chakra filled claw, he stabbed the Jounin straight through his crimson eye. Kakashi knees gave out from the blinding pain. As soon as it happened it was over. The kunai clinked on the ground as Kakashi looked around._

_There was no resistance in his transplanted eye. "What did you do to me?" he asked._

"_**You know a sharigan eye records everything it sees, correct?" **__The demon questioned. Kakashi nodded. __**"Uchiha's always keep their eyes on, recording things like how many times a humming bird flaps its wings in two seconds, the trajectory of a fly vomiting, useless things as such. That will cause the brain to overload, making the user insane. The Uchiha's brain is slightly more complex than the average for their handicap, but that's not enough. I made your eye only record things that could be useful, and made your brain automatically store it as soon as you see it. There is no drawback or anything such as that. You can turn you eye off if you wish, but it is now pointless for you to do so."**_

"_Th…Thank you Kyuubi. I am forever indebted to you," Kakashi thanked the fox with a deep bow._

_Kyuubi smirked, __**"It seems there are some respectful humans in this world…" **_

_Naruto twitched, "Well, look who attacked the village! You never told me why you did it."_

"_**That's another story for another time kit." **__Kyuubi said as he turned tail (or tails) and walked gracefully away._

XXXXXX

"Alright… Time to see Oyaji!" Naruto beamed, fist shot in the air as his cloak fluttered in the wind, sunset behind him.

Kakashi sweatdropped. Yep, Gai trained him.

XXXXXX

A shady, hooded figure walked through an adumbral alleyway. There were multiple fox heads painted on the walls. The person stopped at a pair of cellar doors before black cloth covered hands opened them. The soft sound of feet descending a stairwell echoed through the empty, well lit hallway. The black robed being made its way to a heavy metal door. There was a fox insignia in a crimson outline, right above a metal slide to see through when moved. The small panel on the door slid open and revealed two stern, narrowed, veteran eyes.

In a deep, intimidating voice, he said, "The shop's closed, what do you want?"

The stranger quaked in their boots. That voice enough was enough to drive any brave soul away, the eyes only adding to the intimidation factor. An audible swallow was herd from the person behind the door. "I-I would like to ask of a favor…"

The panel slammed shut, startling the guest. The clinking of chains and locks echoed through the hall. The door screeched open, revealing the gate keeper: Morino Ibiki. He gestured to the far end of the shop, "Talk to Naniki at the counter." The person walked in as Ibiki shut the heavy metal door, relocking it and all. The unknown figure pulled down his hood, squinting at the light. The hood divulged a man with a pineapple like topknot, tanned skin, and a horizontal scar across his nose.

He looked at the shop, amazed at what met his eyes. The walls were a bright ivory, and the tiles a reflective obsidian. There were multiple shelves and bins, all fashioned from a dull ebony. Weapons of a high caliber were littered through the walls. They were all a shiny metal, sharpened razor, and looked ready to use at a moments notice. At the west wall in large print read, **"ARMOR ROOM"**. He began to walk through on of the long, wide aisle ways, taking note to come during shop hours. He saw that when the aisles ended, rows of glass cases began. Stores always held the best of the best items in there, impressive by their other stock.

He approached a desk dyed crimson, outline of a fox head burned into it. He noticed the tip jar, packed with ryou notes of all kind. He looked at the person and instantly found out why. Attending the desk was a buxom blond, her hair in long, streaming pigtails. She had deep, cerulean eyes that reflected everything they captured and whiskered cheeks. She wore a uniform that was far too small, further accentuating her already bulging chest. The man cleared his throat, trying to not blush from the blond beauty.

"Hello!" Her melodic voice was almost harmonic, the man letting out a sigh in pleasure, "Welcome to Kitsune-Ryouken Weapons and Armor Emporium! How may I help you today mister…" She leaned forward, inquiring that he told her his name.

"Umino, Umino Iruka," He replied, giving a small bow.

"Okay then Iruka-kun, how are you in need of our services today?" She asked, head slightly tilted, getting a high number on the cuteness scale.

Iruka visibly blushed and looked down. No one called him that since before the Kyuubi attack… He shook his head, burying his past. He locked eyes with the gorgeous woman, "I need a week off from work, but the school won't let me have a vacation unless I pay for it myself. So I need something to prevent the students and staff from being at school. Tell me what you'll be able to do."

She leaned on the desk with her elbows, her bust pushing against the wood. She put one hand at her chin in a thinking position. After twenty seconds or so, she snapped her fingers. "Okay, we can have an Early Monsoon Season, an Epidemic, Hell in a Hand Basket, or maybe a Bonfire… Which one would you prefer?" Naniki asked.

Iruka stared in confusion. Those terms were all but familiar with him.

She sighed. Naniki moved her face near Iruka's. She cupped her hand in order to whisper something, "You never were on a Black Ops, ANBU, a Seek and Destroy or a Destruction Team, were you?"

Iruka tried not to shudder as her hot breath tickled his ear. He shook his head.

"Good!" She replied going back to her original position, "The death tools are too high for someone as cute as you to be on!"

Iruka looked away in an attempt to hide his furious blush. He never got that many compliments as a schoolteacher, so this was new to him. He wasn't 'In the loop' like many of his friends were. Once he collected his composure, he looked back at her, stuttering a thank you.

"Okay, to define to operations I just said… An early Monsoon Season is a flood in an area you choose, an Epidemic is a disease or sickness that runs through a number of selected people, Hell in a Hand Basket is just pure chaos, and a Bonfire is obviously a fire, but of any building or establishment of your choosing," She defined the procedures as she numbered them on her fingers.

"Can I get an Early Monsoon Season at the Academy, and an Epidemic of the flu on the staff? Also, could I get a vaccine that would leave me sick, but for only a day or so? I want to look like an innocent," Iruka asked, feeling no remorse for what he was doing. Hey, he was a good guy, but he needed a break. Plus, the other teachers are trained shinobi, so they should be able to eat up the virus with their chakra.

"Mmmkay…" She mumbled as she scrawled something illegible on a piece of paper. She ripped it from the notepad and gave it to Iruka, "Okay Iruka-kun, go through the door behind me and see Shikaku. He'll handle all of your finances."

He nodded as he progressed through the door.

XXXXXX

"Sign here, initial here, surname here, mother's maiden name here, age here, sign here once more, birthday here, height here, doctor's name here, and sign here once again," Sarutobi instructed, pointing to blank spots on the page. Naruto did what he requested in whichever spots.

"Okay, I think that's everything… Now we have to gauge your power in a fight." Sarutobi concluded, holding his chin with his kneaded hands.

"Who am I fighting?" Naruto asked, blue slit eyes filled with excitement.

"My son, Sarutobi Asuma." He answered, shuffling though papers, "Report to my training grounds at noon. Expect a crowd."

Naruto smiled under his mask. The match would be postponed…

XXXXXX

Kakashi sat on a rooftop at sunset, enjoying his book as nature took its course. A funnel of wind rose from the ground. It abruptly stopped as Naruto stood in its place, cloak fluttering rapidly.

Kakashi sweatdropped, something he has been doing more and more lately. He snapped his book shot as he moved his mask to the left side of his face, "So? What is it?"

Naruto held up four vials full of unidentifiable liquids. Two had black bands and the others white. He chuckled, "I'm keeping the cat in the bag for now."

Kakashi and Naruto disappeared to their head quarters with a Shinshun. It was ten meters below ground near the KIA Memorial stone. It was just like a large mansion almost. If of course you leave out the four feet of lead atop the ceiling. It allowed then to do what they pleased without anyone detecting their chakra.

The first room was gigantic. The ceiling was sixteen feet stall, far higher than the norm. It had a large rectangular wooden table with multiple chairs at it. There were bulletin boards everywhere on the walls with suggestions for miscellaneous ideas for pranks or whatever else needed done. There was a scroll with some names above it, perched below an outline of a crimson lined fox head. Above the logo was the print against the grey walls, **Torikkusuta Renchuu. **There were double doors at the western wall that led to a hallway. Multiple doors covered the length of the dim lit hall. At the end the long path was a lift that led to the surface in a secret spot.

Yep, they started their own business. It was more of an odd job kind of thing though. Someone would come in through the shop at the surface and fill out a form and give the money to person working at the back desk. It was usually one of Naruto's Kitsueki Bunshin working the register. They had to hire fewer employees that way. Unlike Kage Bunshins, they required a small amount of blood, required ten fold the amount of chakra, and actually became human in a sense.

Kakashi and Naruto got on the lift, throwing a switch up at the automated panel. It silently rose at a brisk pace. It slowly stopped when the destination was reached. The duo left the machinery and arrived at the surface. The entrance to the main base of operations was cleverly disguised as a weapons shop. They were currently near the back desk, Shikaku grumbling as he was working with some guy with a hairstyle much like his own. They went trough a door marked 'Service Entrance' that had the company logo on it, a bell ringing as the door opened. They went through a couple more doors and found their Briefing Room. It had dank white walls, six red folding chairs, and a dry erase board with a many different colors of markers to use.

Kakashi seated himself in one of the cheap chairs, "So… What's the plan? I expect something great if it's one of your last free agent hijinks."

Naruto bit the tip of the black marker, ripping it free of its cap. He let it fall into his other hand. He smiled mischievously, "Great? No no no… Kohona will remember this until time ends!"

XXXXXX

Naruto was in the Cinema Room, sitting in a cozy recliner with a soda and buttered popcorn. He pulled down his mask as he tossed some popped corn crenels into his mouth. He looked next to him. There sat Kakashi munching some Buncha' Crunch. Those little bastards were good…

The Cinema Room was their favorite and most expensive room in their hideout. It had multiple armchairs, arranged like an average theater. Instead of one big screen, there were two hundred plus seven by ten foot screens. They also curved so that if you looked up, left, or right, there was a screen from any seat in the room. They could also stretch one image across multiple ones, to get a better look at something.

Kakashi flashed him a toothless smile, giving him a thumbs up as well. Naruto returned the gesture. He looked away from Kakashi's revealed face and stared back at the dozens and dozens of screens that surrounded them. He didn't care, he's seen it before. He knew why he wore it too. The same reason he himself did…

He liked messing with people. Plus, they need something to keep the women away… Though it didn't work as planned. The only thing that kept women away from Kakashi was his choice of reading.

Someone entered and closed the door behind him. Naruto leaned to see who it was. It was an Aburame for sure. He wore black baggy cargo pants than covered most of his leather combat boots. He had a dark olive hooded coat that ran mid thigh with sleeves that ran just as long. A black bandanna was covering his lower face, and perched on his nose were dark blue, very reflective sunglasses. He was holding a keg of beer and a tankard. He spoke in his solemn voice, "Did I miss anything?"

Kakashi eyed what he was carrying, "Did you bring any for me?" He smiled his signature smile. Shinji just stared. He slammed the beer on one of the many chairs and fed his glass beer from the nozzle. He sat on Naruto's nine o' clock.

Naruto twitched, "Gee Shinji, thanks for sharing!"

Shinji sipped his frosty beverage, "You didn't ask for me to bring you any."

"Oh! It's starting!" Naruto exclaimed as some stray popcorn hit the soft plush carpet. They leaned forward in their seats to see if their ingenious plan had worked. It was still in the experimental phases, but they had what they needed at hand. Kohona's Yancha Dyuo made no second thought in using what they had in a large supply. Shinji was still wondering what he delivered to the masses.

Popcorn, soda, and they crunchy chocolate hit the ground as the owners of the snacks stared blankly at the screens. The chairs feel back due to the occupants' massive twin jet nosebleeds, causing a domino effect to the chairs behind them. The stream was _THAT _powerful.

Shinji's eyebrows rose. "Heey-oooo…" He smiled as the blood trickled down his nose.

…That worked a little to well.

XXXXXX

"_Okay, you know what Testosterone, Estrogen, Pheromones, and Oxytocin are, right?"Naruto asked, letting the four vials of liquid dangle from the mouths by the spaces in-between his fingers._

_Kakashi nodded. _

"_Well, I took these from our stock. We seem to have these at a large supply, and I found an ingenious way to use them. If we use these," He held up the black banded ones, "On all the men in the village, and these," He this time held up the white, "On all the women…" An evil glint appeared in his eye as the area around him dimmed._

"…_Kohona's citizens and shinobi will be involuntary forced into one, massive, ORGY!!" He cackled darkly as he announced his plan._

_The lighting returned quickly and the glint vanished, "But I have no idea how to distribute it among the village…" He stated as he sheepishly rubbed his neck._

_The masked nin held his chin in thought. He snapped his fingers, "The Aburame we hired recently! Shinji I think his name was… He's mass breeding small bugs that hold massive amounts of liquids while retaining their centimeter size!"_

"_Brilliant! When he will be on duty?" Naruto asked, antsy from their new discovery (Forgive the pun, I couldn't resist…)._

_Kakashi summoned the staff chart through a seal, "he should be signing in in about two minutes…" He said as he checked the clipboard and his watch. _

_Ring-a-ling! The bell rang over the staff entrance. Aburame Shinji walked in his clan's calm demeanor past the door way. He stopped midstride and looked inside the Briefing Room. He saw that Naruto and Kakashi were watching him._

"_What's with the look?" he asked._

"_Your latest project could aid us in a devious deed… kukukuku…" Naruto cackled._

"_What do you need?" He asked, eying then suspiciously._

"_We need you to diverse some chemicals to the female and male populace of Kohonagakure using your latest creation…" Kakashi explained._

"_My Rakuda Hae? …I'm guessing this won't end pretty," he concluded. If his Camel Flies were needed, then this was bad. Who was he kidding? They were Kohona's Yancha Dyuo! Of course it wouldn't be pretty! "What are you asking I distribute to Kohona?" He asked hungry for information._

"_You'll see soon enough…" Naruto left Shinji nibbling for more._

XXXXXX

Shinji stared at the screens, enjoying the moment before he passed out from blood loss. He felt happy inside. He caused this. He single handedly drove Kohona's population horny as a jackrabbit!

Women were naked, looking for some man to stuff their meet inside them. Hell, some just found another female and dove straight into a 69, prying their tongues into each other's clit. Men of all ages above sixteen were looking for a hole, _any hole,_ to stick their erect penis into. For some reason, the kids weren't responding to it. It was better that way on a moral standpoint. Shinobi sensed the disturbance in their system and fed their chakra to eat the invading chemical. They were successful then, until they got jumped by hot and flustered women.

Girl x Girl

Man x Girl x Girl

Man x Girl x Man

Pairs like those and many others littered the streets, fucking each other's brains out due to Shinji's bugs. There was multiple Man x Man, but Shinji made sure to look away. He didn't play for that team. While he was reaching for his beer, his elbow bumped a button on the universal remote marked 'Mute'. The audio was no longer silenced. Moans and grunts of all kinds ejected from the speakers. Shinji then joined his comrades on the ground, blood staining his clothes.

…Up on a roof top, Jiraiya was writing furiously onto his notepad, nosebleed present. He was glad he stopped in stopped into town…

XXXXXX

Sarutobi calmly walked the streets of Kohona, nonchalantly stepping over orgies and nude bodies. He walked into a desolate, very nice weapons shop. It would be a legitimate shop, but the cashier…

He walked up to the register and the hot blonde attendant said, "Hiya Hokage-sama! Welcome to the Kitsune-Ryouken Weapons and Armor Emporium! How ma-"

"Cut the crap. Where's Naruto?" The Hokage questioned. All business this visit it seemed.

She sighed, "Through the service entrance, down the lift, sixteenth door on your left, and down the spiral staircase at the second door to your left." She pointed to a door his right. There was a distinctive outline of a fox head on the door.

Sarutobi's eyes widened. That was one hell of a set of directions. Sarutobi followed the directions the 'Sexified Naruto' gave him. He got pissed once he lost count of the doors. It seems NONE of them were labeled except the restrooms. Sarutobi got lost over fifteen times looking for the accursed door. He finally found it after an hour of his diligent search. He opened the door to meet a Naruto, Kakashi, and Shinji trying to watch the tapes again.

"Hah, three minutes! New record! If we keep doing this, then we'll be in the hospital in no time!" Naruto exclaimed, front of his body covered in dried and fresh blood.

"Greetings Hokage-sama," Shinji bowed as he greeted their new guest, "Is there something that troubles you?" His formal visage was cut short by the blood coating him.

"Oyaji! Did you get some?" Naruto chucked, foxy grin plastered on his face.

He sighed, _'Some things tend to stick I suppose…'_ "Yes, Shinji, there is something that troubles me. And no, I did not 'get any' Naruto. I felt something invading me, so I made my chakra eat it up…" He rubbed his temples, "Why? Why do you do this to me? Why must you cause more problems in my life?" He checked his surroundings, noticing nice AMBU line monitors and technology, nice chairs, soft plush carpet, and dim lighting reflecting from the burgundy walls. "And how did you get these nice digs any how?" He asked, curious of how he could have gotten such an income.

"Kyuubi doesn't need 'Human Currency'." Naruto responded using air quotes.

"So you started a business?" He questioned as he saw someone walk by with a stack of papers through the doorway.

"Yeah, we're pretty busy, and we have some people on duty. We put up some ads in the business column of Kohona's newspapers and got people doing desk jobs as well." He finished, picking popcorn out of his teeth

"On duty? What do you do anyway?" Sarutobi continued his lax interrogation.

"Follow me…" Naruto easily went through the complex corridors and walked past the main hallway's double doors. He led him to the scroll, hanging below the fox head logo. There were multiple names present.

_-Founders-_

_Kohona's Yancha Dyuo & Maito Gai_

_-Members-_

_Maito Gai_  
_Nara Shikaku_  
_Yamanaka Inochi_  
_Akimichi Chouza_  
_Jiraiya_  
_Yamato_  
_Hayate Gekko_  
_Kamizuki Izumo_  
_Hagane Kotetsu_  
_Morino Ibiki _  
_Aburame Shinji_

"Ibiki joined??" Sarutobi asked in disbelief.

"Yep. We need people from all backgrounds of ninja. He filled one of the spots we were looking for. For some reason, he insists on working the door. I don't like it, he scares customers away," Naruto replied aphetically. "We run like an oddjob kind of thing. Post ANY job and we'll do it. If the price is right of course..."

"Is that so? Hmm…" Sarutobi thought tom himself. He snapped his fingers as he had an idea that would get him out of this dilemma, "Would you like to be Hokage for a day?" He demanded more than asked.

"I don't see that happening yet. Only four people have seen my face, let alone know my name. I'm even kept secret from AMBU, do you think that's a good idea?" Naruto weaseled out of the demand successfully.

"Damn. Well, if someone could fill the position it'd be you. See you tomorrow at the fields. It had to be postponed to due our circumstances," The Sandaime explained.

Naruto shrugged.

XXXXXX

Asuma stood on one of the training field his dad owned, smoking his second cigarette of the day. A blush met his face as he recalled the events of not to long ago. He looked left, bleachers with a crowd. He looked right, same thing. He checked his watch, 11:57 blinked back. He decided to try to listen in to the conversations at the bleachers.

"So Kakashi, -cough- …Who is Asuma fighting?" Gekko asked, coughing into his fist.

"A close friend of mine…" He responded, eyes in their signature position.

"You're avoiding the question…" Kurenai stated.

"Well, if I told you, I'd be breaking an S-Class secret…" He deadpanned. He had their attention now. The whole bleacher was silent, waiting for an explanation. He flipped out his smut.

The spectators face faulted.

55…

56…

57…

58…

59…

12:00 Asuma's watch beeped.

A blot of lightning shot from the cloudless sky. There Naruto stood holding his sheathed katana, wind making a display of his rust orange cloak. Kakashi sweatdropped, as some kunoichi squealed and blushed at his presence. The Hokage then appeared between them in a swirl of leaves.

"Now that the contestants are here, we will start the match. Are you ready?" He announced, they both nodded his way, "Okay then… HAJIME!" He ran holding his triangular hat.

Asuma drew his trench knives. Naruto unsheathed his katana. A clinking noise caught his ear. His bracelet was shaking less than Kakashi's, but still at a sporadic rate. Naruto dug into his pouch, and pulled out a kunai.

"At the fall…" He tossed it. The blade flipping slowly in the air. As soon as it hit the ground, they were at battle. The clang of blades was the only thing distinguishable of a fight. They appeared every now and again, only to vanish and continue their battle of steel and will. They met at the center and pushed off each other's blades, landing in their original spots. They were covered with various cuts and scratches across their bodies, Naruto was in worse shape though. He found out why when he looked at his knives.

Asuma chuckled as Naruto barely made out the faint outline of chakra surrounding his blades with his demon enhanced eyes. Asuma chuckled, discarding his diced cancer stick, "It seems you are an opponent not to be toyed with…" He increased the amount of energy to his blades.

"Nor you, Asuma-san…" Naruto said, as he too activated his blade. Electric sparks of various blues flashed across his blade, until it became a full stream of lightning. The tattoos of his chest were for all to see now glowing a soft yellow. He disappeared in a yellow flash. Asuma's jaw dropped. Flashes surrounded him, and an army of Kage Bunshins surrounded him, swords crackling.

"Surrender. Either you pride is wounded or you body is cauterized into pieces," Naruto threatened.

Asuma dropped his knives, "I can live with my pride wounded…"

All the kage bunshins disappeared as he sheathed his blade.

The Hokage Shunshined in a swirl of leaves in the middle of the battle field. "Does anyone else wish to challenge him?" He asked.

A woman jumped into the battle field. "I do! That guy is a probably a pussy without his weapons!" A scantly clad woman shouted, getting into a fighting position. She wore boots with shin guards attached them, a red miniskirt, and a fishnet body suit with only an open trench coat to hide her hourglass figure and well devolved chest. He had distinctive purple hair, dull chestnut eyes, and her lips were curved into a smirk.

Naruto's eyes widened at the sight of the purple haired beauty. _'Hot damn…' _Naruto swallowed the lump in his throat and fought down his blush. The battlefield was not a good place to meet people."Okay, it shouldn't be too hard to take down a prostitute!" He taunted. He checked his bracelet; it was shaking like an epileptic staring at a strobe light. This was going to be fun.

"You'll pay for that you fucker!" she growled. Sarutobi noticed things were getting heated between the two. He broke for the bleachers, not even bothering to start the match.

She rushed Naruto who disappeared in a yellow flash. He appeared behind her holding up a single ryo note. "Where should I put this?" He taunted once more. The spectators erupted in a laugh as the 'prostitute' turned tomato red. A faint 'Heeey-oooo' could be herd.

"**Seneijashu!" **She cried as snakes flew out of her coat. Naruto twisted around them and charged with a black steel covered fist. She blocked it as Naruto sent a flurry of punches.

"Heh, it's going to take more than that to take me down," She said as she continued to block.

"How about fifty bucks?" He asked as he gave Kakashi's signature upside 'U' eyes, still punching not missing a beat.

She growled and kicked him in the stomach, sending him back. Naruto flipped and pushed off the ground with his hands. "Fine then, no more joking around…" _'She caught me with a simple kick! I need to see Gai again…'_

He began to make do handseals. After fourteen, he raised his arms in an X toward the sky. Lightning from the heavens cloaked him in a dazzling light. He remained in that position with his arms now engulfed with white lightning. His whole body was flickering with an electrical current. The tattoos on his chest radiated a bright gold.

"**Raikiri Shinsei!" **He shouted as he charged. Sparks flickered where his feet once were. She waited until he was an inch away to kawarimi with a log nearby, making his attack useless. As soon as his arms struck the log, it exploded, sending splinters everywhere.

He checked his six, and there she was doing hand seals. She inhaled deep as she yelled, "**Dokugiri!" **spiting poisonous gas everywhere.

Naruto held his breath and did handseals of his own, his electrical hands not affecting him at all. **"Kamaitachi no Jutsu!" **He cried, causing slicing winds to push back the smog and damage her as well. He released his Raikiri Shinsei, knowing it was just eating up his chakra at an alarming rate.

She held her arms in front of her to take the brunt of the attack. Her hand reached into her back pouch as she flung shuriken charging in a dead sprint.

Naruto simply stood there, not a care in the world. Once the stars were in a meter distance, he cried, **"Toku Kamikaze!**" White, glowing, angelic winds surrounded him, protecting him from the kunoichi's oncoming projectiles. The winds faded away into nothing after the shuriken were negated.

She smiled. He was still open form close quarters. Her feet pushed off the ground into a flying kick into Naruto. He grabbed her foot and spun her in midair, until he forcefully sent his shin to her face, causing her to skid across the ground.

She wiped the blood from her nose and peeled herself off the ground. There he was, standing on all fours, arms in a 'X' with the tantos at his biceps in each hand. They were both a hardened steel and were bladed on one side. His left was serrated, and his right was a little longer and razor sharp. It looks as though he was serious now.

She Shunshined behind him and sent a heel drop of his lower back. He rolled to the side and stabbed his blades in the ground. Her kick smashed against the ground, causing the earth to crack. He lunged forward, intending on cutting off her leg. She back flipped away, looking carefully at his movements. _'I see, he uses his knives to make up for fists in close combat. I was right when I said he was a pussy without his weapons!'_ Naruto jumped away and regained his stance.

She landed and dusted off her skirt. She pulled out two kunai and motioned for him to come. One moment he was there, the other he was flanking the purple haired woman, his blades arching to slice her. They moved at inhumane speeds, each ones strike meeting another's. She was looking for any opening she could to disarm him. He lunged with a stab and she swung down with a kunai, causing the serrated tanto to bury its self hilt deep in the dirt.

Naruto went to grab it, but his attempt was futile as she attacked with even more vigor than before. He Hiraishined away to his original spot in his four point stance. She looked his way. Naruto stood on two legs and raised his hands, palms near his shoulders. They were enwrapped in a visible red chakra as six inch claws shoot from his fingers. He smirked as he vanished once more. Five claws shot from her heart, blood spewing everywhere. Her body glowed from her wounds and the openings in her face. Naruto realized the technique as he tried to pull his claws away. She was holding onto him! She chuckled as she exploded in a small mushroom cloud.

Naruto flew from the smoke and rolled across the ground. He coughed as he got to his feet. His coat was on fire, his mask was burned off, and his skin was charred. He turned around as she came up from the ground.

"**Katon: Karyu Endan!" **She shouted as a white flaming dragon was rapidly going Naruto's way.

'_Damn it! She's good…' _He thought as he flew through handseals at an inhumane rate. **"Suiton: Bakusui Shoha!" **Naruto roared as water shot out of his mouth, drenching the land and dousing the technique.

'_Now, that the table has shook, let's watch the house of cards crumble…'_ Naruto smirked. He rolled his shoulders out off his flaming cloak.

He flipped back and pulled out his Airboard and took to the skies. The clear blue was quickly replaced by swarming black clouds.

"Chicken shit! Fight like a man!" She yelled the clouded heavens. As soon as she said that black lightning shot down in front of her, making a shower of molten sparks and stunning everything that was drenched by the water.

'_Tricky little bastard! If I stay on the ground I'll be fried in no time!' _She growled as she panted from the after effect of the discolored lightning. Black static coursed through her muscles and led to her brain. She winced from the panging migraine, _'Another one of those and I'll be getting boned by the devil…'_

She got to her feet and looked up. The rumbling clouds lit up in a black flash and rumbled. She leapt back and flipped in mid air. One of Naruto's clones shot out of the ground and threw a wind chakra laced Fuusha Shuriken her way. Her body twisted and swiveled to avoid it, but a quarter inch thick wound decorated her side.

'_THE LITTLE FUCKER! I can't see the shuriken's reach! How many tricks does he have up his sleeve??'_

The snake user was forced to leap and run about, lightning barely singeing her every time and clones always close to dealing a fatal wound.

'_How do I stop this without summoning Manda?' _She thought, dodging yet another blot of jet lightning, swerving over a wicked shuriken.

Suddenly the clouds parted as the onslaught stopped. "Out of chakra already?" She shouted. Her eyes flared open as hands wrapped around her ankles. Before she knew it, her eyes were staring at the back tabi of her opponent.

Four Kage Bunshins appeared in a yellow flash, each with a crackling katana at a different point of her neck. The original made seals and slammed them into the ground crying, "**Doton: Yomi Numa!" **The ground her head was stuck in was quickly descending into a sinkhole.

She stared blankly at nothing, and then sighed, "Fine, I surrender, happy? Just get me outta this shithole!" He dispelled the jutsu as he pulled her out of the dirt. "Nice strategy, it takes a lot to get me caught. The name is Mitarashi Anko, Y-" She paused as she got another look at him. All of his burns were healed, showing his bare arms and torso. His canies were poking from his smirk. His whiskers, eyes, and fur like hair gave him a wild aura that slightly roused her. The black clouds slightly parted, bathing him in sunlight.

He just held up a finger, signaling 'Wait a second'. _'Wow… I didn't realize what a total knock out he was.'_ Anko fought a blush as she eyes his figure.

"Winner! Namikaze Naruto! The newest Tokobetsu Jounin in Kohona's forces!" Sarutobi shouted, smile present on his face. A clone crawled out of the ground and threw Naruto his Fuusha Shuriken. He caught it effortlessly. With a casual flick of the wrist, three blades twirled around the center ring and hid behind the fourth.

"Does that answer your question?" He asked coyly. Anko was drooling slightly, as the spectators' eyes were wide with disbelief. That was excluding the Hokage's, Kakashi's, and some random jounin's. That random jounin walked forward. Naruto got a better look at his apparel.

He had long red hair that reached the small of his back. Black rings were around his eyes, which were covered by circular sunglasses, and led to his inner ears. Whisker like markings covered his cheeks in sets of threes. A Kohona headband was tied around his forehead. He wore a spiked collar and a bandanna around his neck. A red shirt, and a black trench coat with its sleeves ripped off covered his chest. He wore black pants, and kept his feet bear.

He slightly titled his head down. His red slit eyes peering above the rim of his glasses. A feral smirk was placed on his lips. This random jounin could be identified now easy by the blond nin.

"Hey Kyuubi! You came!" Naruto greeted his demonic acquaintance. He focused in his mind trying to contact Kyuubi mentally, _'What's with the look? It's not like you to be in… Skin.'_

"**How could I have missed a showdown of my past vessel?" **He asked, using the overly polite tone of his. _**'Could you imagine the havoc my presence would unleash?' **_The demon replied telepathically to his cage of past. Anko shook her head, getting her attention away from Naruto's figure. She started at the new guest.

"Awww, where's Yumi and company?" He wondered, looking for three other foxes. _'Good point… But it would be funny to watch.'_

"**Yumi is getting groomed. I never see Baku anymore; he is always with the human named, 'Shikamaru'. They have become close in the two years we have been here. And of course, Fudo hides from you ever since he lost that bet with you."** Kyuubi explained, checking the sharpness of his claws on his front left hand. _**'Yes, you ningens are so fun to watch.'**_

"Who the hell are you? I haven't seen you around town before," Anko snarled, taking a forward and holding her fist in a threatening manner. Kyuubi looked her way and turned away immediately, disgusted look upon his face.

Her scent was applauding. It was absolutely horrible! And the stench originated from her… Her…

He signaled Naruto to come closer, he did so. Kyuubi whispered in his ear, **"Why does her vaginal area reek of rotting meat?" **

Naruto fell to the ground, laughing holding his sides. After three minutes or so, he sat up and breathed deep from lack of air. He wiped the tears from his eyes. "Kakashi!" he yelled, giving his partner in crime a thumbs up. Kakashi gave his signature eyes and returned the gesture. This of course confused everyone around them.

Naruto looked to Anko, who wearily watching the stranger. Like trying to say, 'Try something, I _**DARE**_ you'. "Oh relax Anko. He's an old friend of mine. We're practically flesh and blood." He reassured her. It was half true…

"**I would not touch her even if you said I could…" **Kyuubi stated, hands making their home in his pockets.

"That's cold man…" he deadpanned. He looked to where Anko should have been, no one was there. His eyes scouted the area until he found her holding on of Kyuubi's hands. Her finger barely touched the claw and bled. Kyuubi stared at nothing with half lidded eyes, blatantly not paying attention. His eyes flared open as a kunai flew across his cheek, making a centimeter deep slash on his face. Anko was behind him, licking the wound of blood. His face showed panic and arousal, all at the same time. Naruto took a picture.

"Mmm, you taste good," Anko cooed seductively into his ear. Kyuubi shivered. Naruto took another picture. Blackmail was good.

"Well Kyuubi, I gotta go. You can be Anko's bitch as long as you want though!" He laughed as lightning struck him in the head, leaving nothing but a shower of sparks in its wake.

Kyuubi twitched.

"**As much as I love your company**** Anko-san, I have yet another ningen to slaughter!" **He barked, sinking away from her grasp. He suddenly became completely engulfed in flames as a fissure appeared in the ground. It opened and Kyuubi fell through. It was over as soon as it started. Expect Kohona's Number One Surprising Knucklehead Ninja and The Demon King of Hell to have flashy exits.

xXxOMAKE!xXx

"Ibiki joined??" Sarutobi asked in disbelief.

"Yep. We need people from all backgrounds of ninja. He filled one of the spots we were looking for," Naruto replied aphetically. "We run like an oddjob kind of thing. Post ANY job and we'll do it. If the price is right of course..."

Suddenly, Kakashi whipped out a remote control and pressed the only button on it. The room transformed into a game show-like setting. The walls turned and the floors lowered, revealing a screaming, excited studio audience of Naruto's Kage Bunshins'. A giant wheel rolled in by two Narutos in an Orioke no jutsu with red velvet dresses on.

Naruto walked in stage with a microphone in a black suit, "Hello every body welcome to…"

"THE PRICE IS RIGHT!!" The audience shouted.

"Yes! Today, we have the Sandaime Hokage, Sarutobi Sasuke!" Naruto announced, arm arched toward his guest. Sarutobi gave a little wave. Naruto continued, "Could I have some members of the audience come on down?"

They all started waving around and screaming their heads off. Naruto picked three at random and they came down.

"YES! I'm so excited!" One Kage Bunshin cheered jumping up and down.

"Take us to the guessing thingy!" The other exclaimed, jittering like an ADHD kid that drank a twelve pack of mountain dew. The last was trying not to pass out. Naruto lead them and Sarutobi to little booths that ranged in color.

"Okay! If you can correctly guess the price of this item, you move onto the neeext round! Show them what it is girls!" He shouted in a corny host voice. The two 'girls' pushed the curtain away to reveal what was in side.

Kakashi's voice came over the loud speakers, "Well Naruto, it's a complete Platinum Collectors edition and compete set of Icha Icha Paradise! These contain notes from the author, even more descriptive scenes, and detailed pictures drawn by the best artists in the Shinobi Nations!" Hot damn… that was some prize.

"Can you guess the price correctly?" Naruto asked pointing in the general direction of the selected clones.

"One hundred thousand!" one shouted

"Three hundred and fifty thousand!" Another shouted.

"Two hundred thousand! The last clone exclaimed.

"Uhh… Two hundred thousand and one?" Sarutobi asked, unsure of himself.

"It iiiiissssssss…" Naruto looked at the card, "Two hundred and sixty thousand!"

The clone glared at Sarutobi menacingly, "Go fuck yourself."

xXxOMAKE!xXx

"Hey Kyuubi! You came!" Naruto greeted his demonic acquaintance. He focused in his mind trying to contact Kyuubi mentally, _'What's with the look? It's not like you to be in… Skin.'_

"**How could I have missed a showdown of my past vessel?" **He asked, using the overly polite tone of his. _**'Could you imagine the havoc my presence would unleash?' **_The demon replied telepathically to his cage of past. Anko shook her head, getting her attention away from Naruto's figure. She started at the new guest.

"Awww, where's Yumi and company?" He wondered, looking for three other foxes. _'Good point… But it would be funny to watch.'_

"**Yumi is getting groomed. I never see Baku anymore; he is always with the human named, 'Shikamaru'. They have become close in the two years we have been here. And of course, Fudo hides from you ever since he lost that bet with you."** Kyuubi explained, checking the sharpness of his claws on his front left hand. _**'Yes, you ningens are so fun to watch.'**_

Naruto smirked, _'If you like watching people, then I've got a place for you…'_

XXxOmake not overxXX

"You see? There's a reason why there are random chairs in this store," Naruto explained, popcorn on hand.

"**This is **_**very**_** entertaining…" **Kyuubi drawled, still in human form. He stole some of Naruto's popcorn when he wasn't looking.

"Oh! Another one's coming!" He shouted, some stray popcorn falling onto the floor.

A family walked by. The older male, was about thirty nine, no hygiene, very few teeth, disfigured face, blue ragged jeans, and a plaid vest that didn't hide his beer belly, nor chest hair. Beside his was a mutant of a woman. She had buck-teeth, matty, unkempt red hair, way too much make-up, making her resemble a clown, a hump in her back, an ugly purple dress, and outrageous high heels.

"Hey Chuck, was it Bobby or Jill that needed dose pants?" The redhead asked.

"Hell if I know! We got nine of dose little shits at the trailor! I couldn't keep up two of dem!" He replied, scratching his belly.

"Well shoot! Should we get som' more beer for yer dad den? He's startin' to whiiine at his chair on the porch!" She shouted, trying to read the list he scrawled out.

"Damn it Phyllis! Let's just buy somin'! It is grocery day after all," He implied, walking with a little waddle. They continued to argue as the two stood shell-shocked.

"Damn, you know Kami has a sense of humor when you see that," Naruto chuckled.

"**I. Love. Wal-mart…" **Kyuubi announced.

XXXXXX

Yeah, I changed some stuff…

I changed the meeting with Anko and Kyuubi for a lot of reasons. That would unleash hell for everyone looking. Naruto would be swamped with questions. People would instantly find out who he was. I don't feel like typing up those scenes.

Have you ever watched people at Wal-mart? DO IT! It's amazing what you see there!

Plus, it makes more sense later if it's like this now.


	5. V: Unleashed

"It's been far too long since I wore this…" Kakashi reminisced as he looked at his ANBU gear. The mismatched eyes peered through the ANBU version of his wolf mask.

"Speak for yourself, this is new to me. Plus, these clothes are to constricting," Naruto said as he let go of the spandex, wincing as it snapped back. He had one eye closed in pain behind his fox mask.

"Like you said, speak for yourself. I got a new jacket. Aburame standard," Shinji remarked, hands in the pockets of his shin length high collar trench coat. Shinji's mask was all black, with two red orbs where the eyes could see through. It had a pattern on the eyes that resembled those of a fly.

Suddenly a red flash met their eyes. Out of it, came an ANBU member. He had dark red hair that ran past his shoulders. His left eye had a dull jet iris. His right eye was obliviously gouged out in battle, judging by the nasty scar that went from his forehead to his chin. In place for that was a complex scope mechanism, all of that was covered by his long red bangs. He had a toned figure and slightly tanned skin, covered by the basic ANBU gear. His gloves though had a horizontal slit in the palms. There were also some strange pad on his thumb, and middle finger tip. There were no distinctive weapons on his person, only multiple pouches on his legs and waist.

The mysterious person spoke up, "Madoka Hitoshi, reporting to fill a hole in ANBU's newest team. I specialize in recon and explosives un."

Kakahsi looked his way, "Madoka Hitoshi? You're th-"

"Please," He interrupted, "I choose to leave my past behind me…"

"What was that technique you just used?" Naruto asked, noticing a likeness to the Hiraishin. He didn't even care what the newcomer just said. He can be a sucker for any jutsu he sees.

"During the Third Great Shinobi Wars, I saw the Yondaime Hokage wipe out my uncle's squad using the Hiraishin no Jutsu. I was a little kid then un, and I became curious of how he did it. Between practicing my Jutsu's, I studied how he could have done it. I found out he used seals, and so I enwrapped myself in research un. Thus, I created my Hiryuujin no Jutsu. It has the same effects as Hiraishin, but instead of a flash, I can put a three meter explosion in its place." Hitoshi explaned, "Pretty bitchin' un?"

The three were wide eyed at what he said. They questioned the 'yeah' he said every now and again though. "That is so awesome!!" Naruto shouted.

"So, what's our squad name gonna be?" Hitoshi asked, putting on his mask to cover his feminine face. It was a raven. The beak was a dull gold, as the rest was charcoal black with 'feathers' fanning from the ends of the mask, framing his head. Its right eye was also cut away, for the scope to fill.

"We specialize in Seek & Destroy right? We go in, demolish, and scat like we were never there, right?" Kakashi asked. Shinji nodded in response. "Then why not the Senkou Unit? We all know a variant or the real Hiraishin, it only seems fitting."

"That's sounds good to me," Naruto agreed, "This will be great. I can't wait to do S-Class missions!"

"Well, S-Class missions can be compared to a woman hovering a knife near your crotch. Say or do one thing wrong and you're fucked." Kakashi stated, rescuing his equipment.

"Well shit… That's a real intimidating analogy Kakashi,"

XXXXXX

The newly dubbed Senkou unit was sitting around the campfire. Kakashi was strewn out across the ground, balancing a kunai on his nose. Shinji was drinking some sake he had packed for the trip. Naruto was gazing at the stars in a position similar to the one Kakashi was in. Hitoshi was playing his pipa. He first started playing whatever came to mind, until he played a harmonic rift. He recalled that it was in one of the songs he has herd before.

Kakashi made two shadow clones, one transformed into a pan flute.

"I'm guessing you've herd this one Kakashi," He presumed, never faltering in his playing. He nodded as the clone started playing along with the sitar's plucking.

**(Cue _Incubus's A_****_queous Transmission_… Seriously. Go Youtube it or something.)**

Naruto and Shinji seemed to have spaced out, enraptured with the tune that relaxed every part of them. The landscape all around them morphed into jungle scenery. They were floating on a wooden raft down a crystal clear brook. The Kois' scales were shimmering in the moonlight as they swam about. Waters slightly swayed, making the raft rock. The Moon's reflection broke through the murky clouds and through the dark canopy. Soft animal noises and cricket calls could be herd slightly in the background. It was the most beautiful place Kakashi, Naruto, or Shinji has yet to be. Hitoshi took a deep breath, and started to sing…

_I'm floating down a river,_

_Oars freed from their holes long ago_

_Lying face up on the floor of my vessel_

_I marvel at the stars and feel my heart overflow_

_Further down the river_

_Further down the river_

_Further down the river_

_Further down the river_

_Two weeks without my lover,_

_I'm in this boat alone_

_Floating down a river named Emotion_

_Will I make it back to shore or drift into the unknown?_

_Further down the river_

_Further down the river_

_Further down the river_

_Further down the river_

_I'm building an antenna_

_Transmissions will be sent when I am through_

_Maybe we can meet again further down the river_

_And share what we both discovered, and revel in the view_

_Further down the river_

_Further down the river_

_Further down the river_

_Further down the river_

_I'm floating down a river_

_I'm floating down a river_

_I'm floating down a river_

_I'm floating down a river_

_I'm floating down a river_

_I'm floating down a river_

_I'm floating down a river_

_I'm floating down a river…_

The illusion was released and the clones dispatched themselves. Hitoshi propped up his pipa against his tent and joined his team in blissful sleep.

XXXXXX

The Senkou Unit has recollected themselves after last night's events. Hitoshi could play one hell of a badass lullaby. They were on the road to complete another Seek & Destroy mission. They weren't complaining, not at all. Oto made yet another stronghold. Their objective is to take no prisoners. They wouldn't if they could.

Kakashi drew his father's sword. It had a pale glow, and red marks swirling randomly across it. He switched the blade to a reverse grip, the blade leaving an afterimage as it cut through the air. He touched his earpiece, "This is Okami, in place for Blitzkrieg Assault."

A few second later, Naruto's voice came over the radio, "This is Kitsune, airborne and ready to strike."

"Karasu calling in un, nitrogen levels have been adjusted for maximum explosive radius," Hitoshi confirmed his status.

Shinji's voice crackled through, "Baggu Back with body count. Six A's, seventeen B's, and one hundred and ninety four unranked."

Kakashi nodded, "Okay then. Hitoshi, Siege and start a gas fire, Naruto, rain lightning for the brave, Shinji, swarm Egypt, and I'll run the guillotine. Ready…" Kakashi looked up to see the warming sight (for him) of black, thundering clouds. "Now!" Kakashi called out.

An explosion blew the massive iron gates from their hinges. The men inside panicked. One dashed for the alarm until he was stricken down by lightning. It seems as though when anyone tried to pull the alarm, lightning killed them instantly. Another explosion shot off. This originated from the fuel tanks, and quaked the ground at their feet. Locusts came swarming over the ramparts and down into the ranks. People were killing each other in friendly fire to dispatch the man-eating insects. A white flash came through and decapitated one unlucky Oto nin, his body still flailing around. Naruto broke through the clouds on his Airboard, sword crackling blue lightning. Hitoshi leapt from the trees, making clay sculptures and snapping like he was at a jazz club. Shinji stayed behind, he didn't want to spill his drink.

This havoc continued for two minutes. After the heads were collected, they met at their recon point. It was a clearing through the trees, a grassy patch where the sun barely broke through. They all looked at Hitoshi. He sighed, "Fine un, I'll blow it to shit!"

He fed his hands an unusually large amount of clay. They spat out two good sized blobs and he mashed them together. After thirty seconds or so, he made a turtle. He set it on the ground and did a handseal. It was consumed in a poof of smoke. Out walked a massive twenty foot tall snapping turtle. Hitoshi hopped on top of it and slammed his palms on it. His chakra filtered through the clay and colored it, making the appearance of a real turtle. The reptile marched onward.

Hitoshi turned around to his team, "Let's make like a tree and get the fuck outta here un!"

They took no second though to it as they dashed off. After a minute of running, a loud roar hit their ears. Hitoshi leaped straight into the air. The turtle was in position. He did a handseal, "KATSU!!" The shelled animal radiated a neon orange color before it finally erupted, decimating the forest around it. Before the Senkou Unit could get caught, they each flashed out of there.

XXXXXX

Three crimson, and one spotless ANBU member approached the Hokage. One held a massive bloodstained sack.

"Oto base neutralized," Kakashi reported, heaving the bag onto the wooden desk. Heads rolled out of the opening. It was easy to indentify who killed whom.

Cauterized was Naruto's handiwork. Shinji's kills always had little bite marks present. Kakashi either had bite wounds from his hounds or they were simply cleaved off their shoulders. Hitoshi's was always burned. The charred and black skin off the neck was a dead giveaway. The Senkou Unit only came second to FOX. After doing a record breaking twenty four S-Class missions in a span of three months, they quickly became a topic of conversation of the Kohona populace. Whether it be their missions or how there were rumors spreading that it was Kohona's legendary pranksters were on the very squad.

"Okay, your pays for the nukenin and the mission it's self will be transferred to your accounts," Sarutobi said, wiping the blood off a document he was signing. They nodded as they vanished in green, white, red, and a yellow flash. The Sandaime shook his head. They kept his day entertaining, that's for sure.

XXXXXX

Naruto grumbled as he walked in his normal attire. After six months of dedicating his life to ANBU, Sarutobi sends him on a paid vacation. He didn't want that! Civilian life was boring. No action, no gore, no explosions, no nothing! He kicked a rock as it lodged it's self into a brick wall.

What could he do in his spare time?

His eyes met a dango shop. What the hell. He walked in and sat in a booth. It had nice clean tables and velvet lining on the seats. He picked a nice place for sure.

"Welcome to Tentou Dango! I'm your hostess Asami. What will you be having today?" A peppy waitress greeted him, holding out a menu. If he wasn't sure he picked a good place, he was now. Hourglass figure, amble bust, long waist length amber hair, eyes of a brilliant red, she was stunning. Naruto took the menu and looked through it.

"Hmm… I've never had dango. Could I just have one of everything and some chilled sake? Shima if you have any please," He ordered as he gave back the menu.

Her eyed widened. She realized with that order, a huge tip would be mandatory. "Certainly sir, will that be all?" Asami asked as she took the menu, sweet smile on her face. Naruto nodded.

Like any and every restaurant, the drink came first. Naruto drank the liquid as it tingled the tip of his tongue, slid down and chilled his throat, and left a slightly bitter aftertaste. Naruto left his mask down, but reached in his pouch and got out one of his bandannas. It's been a long while since he sat down and enjoyed a drink…

"Hey, it's you!" A purple haired vixen yelled, taking a seat across from him.

…And he was still waiting.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, trying to make conversation.

"I'm at a restaurant, take a guess," he sarcastically remarked, taking another drink. Anko eyed the drink. She took it from his hand and twirled the liquid in the glass. She sniffed it and sipped it a little. Her eyed widened.

"Yo Asami! I'll have what he's having!" she yelled, waving to the waitress.

"A'ight Anko! Just don't get your panties in a bunch!" She yelled back, serving another table their drinks.

Anko smirked, "Who says I'm wearing panties?" Naruto saw multiple men wipe their noses after the statement/question. He would have, but his masked concealed the trace amount of blood seeping from his nose.

"ANKO! I SWEAR IF YOU KNOCK OUT ANOTHER COSTOMER I'LL CHARGE YOU EXTRA FROM NOW ON!" She yelled, blood vessel visible on her forehead.

A faint, 'Heey-oooo' could be herd. Naruto inwardly smirked knowing Shinji was here. He did that when something could be taken sexually. Multiple men passed out from their overactive imagination from the two bickering women.

"But Asami-hime, you already charge me extra! You even scrape money for cleaning the sheets!" Anko countered, sending any remaining man passed out in a world of their fantasies. Naruto wasn't that bad to far for such a thing. He noticed that their argument was getting a little out of hand. Time to move…

Naruto walked up to Shinji's booth, deciding he didn't want to directly hear the two women's shouting match (no matter how arousing it was). He had towers of tankards, beer cans, beer bottles, sake bottles, and a colossal pyramid of shot glasses. "Does this happen everyday?" Naruto asked, taking a seat across from him, beer cans clinking on the floor as he did so.

"What? Me drinking like this or them bickering?" Shinji questioned, still sober as the day he was born.

"…Both."

"Yep," He answered as he chugged another tankard.

Naruto laughed to himself, "That's too bad. You seem like a funny person when you're drunk." He said. Naruto turned his neck and body to witness the two women, forehead to forehead, shouting to one another. "I'm guessing their on bad terms?"

Shinji shook his head as he pulled the tab on a beer can opening it, "Couldn't be more wrong. They're actually best friends. They just like pissing each other off."

"You know you're really talkative for an Aburame, right?" The blond nin noticed.

"Heh, just because every other person in my clan is as fun as a brick wall… I would never talk, but I really don't see a reason why I should." He answered, taking a drink of his fresh beverage. Suddenly, the background shouting match stopped. "That means Asami is getting a large order…"

He scrambled out of his seat, kicking beer cans as he went back to his original booth and sat down. His drink was empty. Anko just shrugged innocently. Naruto just blankly stared disbelievingly. Asami came, setting down a massive tray, filled with dozens of varying dangos. Asami also noticed the look Naruto was giving Anko, "Did this whore finish your drink?"

Anko twitched, "Still a virgin, thanks you very much!"

"Your clothes say otherwise…" Naruto quipped, eyeing her skimpy choice of apparel, thanking the presence of his mask to hide his rising blush.

"You know what, I like you. Drink is on the house." She said putting another glass of alcohol on the table. She walked away to see if any other customers were conscious.

Anko was salivating at the sight of all the dango. Naruto picked one up and bit into it, savoring the sweet taste before he swallowed. Anko greedily went to take one, but a sheathed tanto smacked her hand, "You ask."

"May I please have some of your dango," she grumbled.

"You may," Naruto granted her permission to dig in as he peaceful ate. He dropped the empty skewer as he finished, "Its okay, but I don't know how anyone could be crazy for it."

Anko looked at him with disbelieving eyes. "If you don't want it I'll take it!"

"Okay!" Naruto's eyes curved into the upside down 'U's. He picked up a stick of dango as he vanished in a flash.

Anko dug into the meal, bingeing on anything in her reach. Once she was finished the meal she picked her teeth and patted her tummy. Anko was in a food induced stage of bliss. _'I'm glad that blond prick paid th…'_ She then realized something. He left her with the check. "FUCK!!"

XXXXXX

Naruto reappeared in the Cinema Room. He was leaning against an armchair Kakashi was sitting in. They were watching the spectacle taking place.

"Well I'll be damned! You actually left Mitarashi Anko with the check. I lost 1000 ryo…" Kakashi wept over his lost cash.

"Ah grow a pair! We have enough money to retire now, don't cry over 1000." Naruto smiled as he took the money and fanned it in his hand.

"Well! I'm off to Tazuna Gai then! I need to waste my money on something, why not gamble?" Naruto suggested. Kakashi waved goodbye before Naruto disappeared in a yellow flash.

"Damn it! I never win a bet against that little prick!" Kakashi seethed in his chair.

XXXXXX

Tsunade was happily walking, red briefcase full of money in hand. Nothing could go wrong. She somehow tricked money from another loaning agency. This time she was sure she would win, she just knew it!

She stopped mid stride as a yellow flash met her eyes. Bright yellow hair, eyes curved into upside down 'U's, orange cloak, black pants. Who was this kid? And how did he know the Hiraishin? …Why did he look like Minato?

Her eyes narrowed, "Who the hell are you?"

Naruto looked to who rudely asked of his identity. "Well well… They say respect your elders, but I think I found an exception," He sarcastic snipped smiling.

Tsunade twitched. He even had the same sarcastic attitude that he had! She honestly didn't know if she wanted to punch him in the face or thank him for the compliment. She herd a faint clinking noise. Her ears followed it to his bracelet. There was a metal rectangle shaking sporadically. _'I know that bracelet… It's something Jiraiya made for detecting the strength of a chakra signatures! Well, that explains why he knows what he knows. …It's good to know I haven't gotten rusty.' _

"I'm not rude all the time you know. But when the son of the Yondaime Hokage comes out of nowhere, things tent to slip," She explained, though her explanation made no sense.

"Ah, it's good to know someone knows who I am without explaining anything. How did you find out?" Naruto asked, curious of how she found out.

"Jiraiya said he'd never take another apprentice after Minato. I knew he'd make an exception for his son though. I'm guessing Kyuubi altered you appearance?" She concluded.

The man nodded. He looked at the suitcase in her hand, then the city. He did this again and again until his eyes locked onto Tsunade's. "Umm, no offence Tsunade…" Naruto started, "But this gambling town has the highest wager limit and best gamblers on the earth… Your nickname is 'The Legendary Sucker'." Naruto deadpanned.

Tsunade sighed, "I'm known for my gambling, but for my healing? For my battle expertise? For my strength? I don't think so!" Tsunade snapped, pissed at what she is known best for. Shizune tried calming her down. Ton-Ton was making the little 'bweh' noise she makes.

Naruto eyed the little piglet._ '…I wanna little animal buddy. Kyuubi doesn't really fit the bill.' _He thought to himself. He sliced his thumb using his canine and did handseals, then slammed his palm on the ground. Out of the smoke, came a little fox kit. The fox he first summoned if he remembers correctly. He never really did look at it, since all he did was snuggle in his neck from his shoulder. He had amber fur, wide green eyes with slits present, and a black snout. The fox hopped up his body, using his pouches and swords as leverage until he reached his head. He let his paws dangle over his forehead as he head rested atop of his.

"Do you have a name little guy?" Naruto asked. The little fox shook his head. "Hmm…" Naruto furrowed his brow in thought, "How about Michi?" he asked the little fox. He in response slightly wagged its bushy tail yipping, "Wow-wow-wow!" A bark fox kits make when they're happy.

Shizune tried not to squeal and scream 'KAWAII!!' at the sight. Tsunade ignored it and continued her march under the stone arch to the city.

Naruto and Shizune followed behind her. They tailed the blond to one of the gambling halls with the highest wager requirement. She threw the suitcase down on the ground and said, "Can you convert all of this to chips?" The men running the place were more than happy to take the fabled sucker's money. She looked over to Naruto, "You gonna join me?"

"I never gambled before. How much should I convert?" He asked, knowing nothing of gambling. He came here to waste money, so he wasn't adamant to the idea of betting his money.

"A lot if you have it," She answered, doubting he had a lot of cash. He pulled out a scroll, rolled it across the table, sliced open his thumb once more, pushed chakra to it, and swiped it across a seal array. In a poof of smoke, a large brown suitcase appeared.

Naruto tossed it to the chip handler, "There's a million ryo, give me my chips." The eyes widened of everyone present.

"How much money to do you have?" Tsunade asked believing her eyes.

"I lost count at a billion," Naruto shrugged as if it were no big deal.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT MUCH?!" Tsunade near screamed. Michi's ears folded down as he squinted in pain.

"You have herd of the Senkou Unit of Kohona's ANBU, correct?" Naruto guessed. She nodded in response. "Nuff said…"

XXXXXX

Shizune could not believe this kid! This was the sixth gambling hall he's cleared out today! No matter what he played, he won. Even if he had a seven and a two in different suits in poker, he'd bluff his way into them folding. He's gotten a Royal Flush on more than on occasion. If there was a lady luck, then she had her hands all over Naruto. He got something not possible in a game of poker…

XXXXXX

_Naruto was skin clad save for boxers, sitting at a poker table. Shizune forced herself not to blush as Tsunade blatantly eyed his well toned body. The dealer shot five cards to the four other people at the table. He waited for all the cards to be dealt before he picked him up. During that time, he made an attempt towards conversation._

"_Tell me again, why did you guys make me undress?" Naruto asked, eyeing his clothes on the floor. Michi was sleeping silently atop of them. There were five bouncers, all watching him carefully to the other players' requests. _

_A chubby, well dressed man tapped the ash off his cigar, "'Cause kid, yous won every game ya played."_

_Beside him, was a skinny man dressed in a pricy suit, "Yeah kid, we's suspectin' yous for cheatin'! Dey's no way yous can cheat now eh."_

_Naruto's palm met his forehead, "I never cheated!"_

"_Bullshit!" One muscular bald man accused, "No ones eveah beatin' boss before."_

"_Ahhh shat up and pick up yous guys's cads!" Another man yelled. He had piercing yellow eyes, a tall figure, and was dressed much like his other companions._

_They thought the tall male had a good idea and picked up their cards. The well dressed men smirked, and glanced at each other in unison. There was no way the blond could win now. _

_The blond now eyed his cards. He questioned what he got, as it wasn't possible, but played the game all the same. The dealer went around, asking if he wanted to exchange a card, pass, fold, or raise the bet. Naruto threw in a couple chips and waved him away. This continued for four more turns. _

"_Three of a kind!" The tall one shouted._

"_Ah, I only got two pair," The musclar man said, setting his cards down face up._

"_Hah, I's got a straight!" The skinny one exclaimed. _

"_Full house," The boss stated, voice laced with melancholy. They all looked at Naruto to see what he had, including Tsunade and Shizune. Naruto was pretty secretive this game. The boss didn't get the card, so maybe it was still in the-_

"_Five aces…" He mumbled, eyeing all of them suspiciously. _

"_The man did nothing to suspect cheating," One of the bouncers confirmed. _

"_Pot goes to the blond," The dealer concluded, pushing the chips to Naruto, "You guys are gonna be put behind bars for what ya pulled at my table." Naruto put his clothes back on and approached the men. They were scared as the bouncers closed in. _

"_You four are coming with us," Another bouncer said, walked toward the gang._

_They pulled out switchblades and katanas and stood their ground, "We aint goin' nowheres!" The boss shouted. _

"_You guys stand down, I got this…" He threatened as he rubbed his hands together slowly. The plates on his gauntlets created static, and with a push of chakra, he had two small Rakiris in his hands. He looked down. "Ah yous guys gonna be comin' quietly…" He spoke in their accent, "Or yous wanna pair of concrete shoes?" His eyes met theirs, red and slit, burning with fury. _

_Metal clinked silently on the carpet floor. "We's gonna go ta jail now," The fat boss complied, holding his hands behind his back as he was handcuffed. All four of them were taken away. Naruto stopped his jutsu, eyes retiring to their previous color._

_The dealer threw Naruto a sack of ryo, "Here blondie, some money for their capture."_

"_You're the luckiest person alive!" Tsunade exclaimed. With the bounty of the men, and all of his total winnings… She pulled out a calculator. She frowned as the memory held the total cost of her dept. The busty blond hit 'ON' and 'CLEAR', smiling as the screen said 'MEMORY CLEARED'. Tsunade began adding. Her eyes flared open, __**"50,000,000?!"**_

_Naruto laughed, "Use my winning to pay off your outrageously huge dept." He gave her all the chips and money he accumulated through the day. "And trust me when I say I'm far from the luckiest person alive."_

XXXXXX

Shizune still wondered what he meant then.

Naruto got up as his knees popped. His stomach rumbled, "Let's go get some food." Tsunade's stomach did the same, as if it liked the idea. She shrugged and went out the door, suitcase in hand. They went into a bar and got some food and drinks.

The waitress came and got them their order, nothing special. Naruto did notice that she was not a close second compared to Asami. Michi came down and Naruto fed him some grilled chicken. They laughed when he suddenly took refuge in Tsunade's bust, head in her very large cleavage. Tsunade also stole Naruto's fortune cookie. _His lucky numbers are bound to win…'_ She though as he scratched the numbers out in a lotto sheet she bought previously. The laughter and happiness ended when someone shrieked outside.

Naruto froze. He Hiraishined out front of the bar and dashed to an alleyway, the source of the shriek. There were five men, ganging up on a half naked girl. There was something they all had in common, a leather jacket with a symbol on the back. It was a black skull with a blue flame behind it and two 'X' crossing scimitars below it. That image burned into his mind. It was obvious that they were trying to rape her.

This infuriated, enraged, and pissed of Naruto to no end. His fingernails turned into claws in his white-knuckle grip, drawing blood in his palm. His blue eyes turned crimson, his hair became wild, untamed. **"What the hell do you think you're doing?" **He called in his demonic voice, red chakra ripping around him.

One of the rapists looked his way and instantly froze. He fell to the ground and started convulsing, blood flowing at a steady pace from his mouth. The would-be rapist fell to the unholy wrath of Naruto's eyes and intense killer intent. Naruto's eyes met each one of theirs, all of them going into the same state as their accomplice in a spilt second. The gang members were all twitching and hemorrhaging.

Was he satisfied? No… He wanted their blood to bathe the streets. He wanted them to pay dearly. He wanted to kill them with every fiber of his being. His cloak fluttered in the wind his chakra made. Naruto skin and his tattoos have changed. His skin glowed with the fire of Kyuubi's red chakra, and his tattoos were not just black anymore, they radiated a dark midnight violet color that chilled your very soul. The chakra condensed into one solid fox tail, wagging menacingly behind him. The whites of his eyes now were the same black as the tattoo, and his slit eyes blazed crimson like lifeblood.

"**DIE!" **He roared as he charged on all fours, hell bent on slaughtering them all. He twisted and turned, creating a cyclone of a lashing energy and claws. His death spiral stopped. The alleyway's ground was a giant crater. Claw marks and deep gashes littered the surrounding blood drenched buildings. He stared at the hunks of bloody meat, his eyes had veins running near his slit pupils. The almost raped girl had already escaped, not wanting to go near her no longer sane savior. Information flooded Naruto's mind as he flew through handseals.

"**KATON: HOUKA KETA KYOUSEI!!**" He roared as blue flame spawned all around him in a colossal column. The blood drenched alleyway was now alit with a cobalt flame. His cloak was incinerated by the flames. The fire burned everything it touched, rapidly eating away the desired target. The image of the gang member insignia flashed in his mind. He bore his fangs as he dashed off in a bloodlust driven manhunt.

XXXXXX

Tsunade and Shizune stopped midchew. They gathered their stuff and went for the door. They followed the insane power to an alleyway. Naruto cried 'DIE' as he span at a rapid rate, massacring the unfortunate gang members. Blood sprayed in every which direction, staining everything crimson.

Tsunade froze. Memories of Nawaki and Dan dying flooded her mind. She wanted to go and stop him, but her body wound not obey. She just stood there shaking involuntary.

"**KATON: HOUKA KETA KYOUSEI!!" **That widened Tsunade's eyes. Sapphire fire erupted from the earth, eating everything it touched. Naruto then dashed off like mad, leaving a slight after-image of his trail.

Shizune took chase, dragging Tsunade behind her, making sure to take a detour from the flaming, bloody alley

XXXXXX

Even had unreal speeds, his eyes were picking up everything in his path. Some walls were vandalized with logo. He tore through the concrete like tissue, making the complex collapse on itself. All the innocent occupants within died instantly. All of the graffiti let to a warehouse. Naruto dove though a large falling apart window. He slid across the ground, claws carving his trail on the hard concrete ground. Boxes and people bore the logo where ever he looked. They all tried running from the beast, but no avail. They were all slaughtered before the could take a step. Naruto made a cross-seal and a thousand of his demonic self appeared, trashing the place and turning the gang members into ribbons. After the massacre, the real dispatched his clones and leaped high into the air.

He flew through hand seals and stopped at two hundred and sixty nine, **"KATON: KYOKAN INSEKI!****" ****T**he skies darkened as lightning struck the ground. The clouds thundered and flash red as a white fiery thirty meter meteorite broke through the clouds at breakneck speeds. The rock struck the warehouse, erupting in an ash-filled mushroom cloud. When the smoke cleared, all that was left was a burning crater. The white flames rose higher than any building in the city, quickly spreading to the homes and establishments of Tazuna Gai.

Naruto felt his power flicker before it completely went away. His tail, eyes, and new skin went away as a fleshless body hit the dirt, leaving a small crater at his wake.

XXXXXX

Shizune pulled Naruto out of the ground, wondering how he was still alive. He had no skin, bleeding from every spot on his body. Even muscles still bore the stain of his intricate tattoos. Just then, from a fiery fissure in the ground, rose a six tail horse sized demonic fox. This scared the living shit out of Shizune and Tsunade.

**"By the nine layers of the hell's great inferno! What happened here?" **Kyuubi demanded, more than asked.

A golden light streamed from the ground. Whips of cloud and a small explosion appeared as well. There was also a column of green flame that spawned from nowhere. From those rose three eight-tailed fox, roughly the same size as the first.

**"Yo Kyu! What te- 'Ho shit!" **Fudo exclaimed seeing the carnage of what once was Naruto.

Bakugekiki's forever half-lidded eyes widened at the sight,**"Oh my… Is this a drawback of those tattoos' he has?"**

**"Hmm… They seem to alter chakra to a more potent source. Like if you were barely a Doton jutsu specialist, you could then pull them off by just thinking it. If he was tainted through my trace chakra, it will corrupt him into a savage killing machine. My chakra also seems to have a massive drawback as you can see. I thought by now the chakra would filter and his body would accept it."**Kyuubi concluded.

Yumi stared at him in concentration,**"It looks as though all your chakra did was become more demonic, and increase in capacity. Instead of the one tail you left him, he now has the equivalence of a four tail. If he tapped into it without knowing how to use it, he could very well kill himself."**

"His heartbeat is fading fast! Can you all do something?" Shizune panicked, wondering if she can really depend on the demons.

**"Dis' bitch 'ill die if we don do sum'en!" **Fudo cursed.

**"Pump chakra into him and start the alteration on his body! If we gotta change him to let him live we should do it now! If he goes so does Kyu!" **Baku stated, calm visage gone for the moment.

They nodded as a gigantic fissure cracked through the ground. All five of them sunk into it, leaving a confused and disheveled Shizune and Tsunade at the surface.

XXXXXX

Hitoshi sighed as he read the paper. He tossed it and snapped his fingers, making erupt in flames. Headline, DEMON RAMPAGES IN TAZUNA GAI! It was clearly Naruto, if the tattoo's said anything. It seems some terrified civilian got a picture of him. It showed Naruto dashing on all fours, red chakra coating his body in a tight second skin, the eerie glow of the ink on his body, and those eyes that made an army of possums crawl across your grave. It's been a week since he just vanished. No trace of him was left evident in his capture, death, or worse. He just simply slid off the face of the earth. Most normal humans could not do that.

…Then again, Naruto wasn't the best description for normal. Naruto also told him his deep dark secret, so he couldn't be classified as a human either. He smirked as he knew his friend broke all the chains of society. He hopped out of his chair as he brewed a pot of coffee, feeding his hands some stray beans. He looked atop of television in the room he was just in. He picked up the frame, reminiscing on old memories.

In the frame was a picture of him and his brother. They were happily standing next to each other, one arm around each others shoulders, the other revealing a lolling tongue, dangling from the mouth. Their faces were doing the same. There were few characteristics that made them the same. He had blond hair, Hitoshi had red. Hitoshi's eyes were a dull black, and his were blue. Both of their eyes though, were slanted in the same angle. He and his brother were common mistaken for girls. They both said 'un' for some reason, their hair was the same texture, same figure, and the same short fused temper and vulgar language that sounded exactly alike.

God, he missed Diedara…

Criminals say, 'I'm not evil, just misunderstood, at the wrong place at the wrong time, and knew the wrong people'. In this case, it was true. The Madoka clan in Iwa was a little known clan. Known for being explosive in battle and in real life. They were outcasts of society with their 'freakish' unique physique. They were constantly pushed around, and made into criminals when they fought back. They were the lowest pit of the social ladder, their opinions did not care. When a crime was committed, any crime, it could always be blamed on them.

The council, prosecutor, shop owner, or any random person said aloud in disgust, _'Oh, _another _piece of Madoka scum to stain the streets?'_

Hitoshi chuckled as he recalled that day. It wasn't funny then, and it isn't now. He was laughing at the pathetic thing called a 'government'…

XXXXXX

_Deidara and Hitoshi's beer's clanged together once more as they raced to the bottom. Diedara slammed it back onto the table, making the glass shatter under his grasp. _

"_WHOO! VICTORY UN!" Deidara roared, blush present on his face._

_Hitoshi looked at the smashed bottle. He was just staring at the shattered glass until he muttered, "Son. Of. A. BITCH!" His grip tightened as the bottle snapped under pressure. "You little shit un! That's the sixth time in a row you beat me!" Hitoshi stated, obviously not sober. _

"_Wait, un… Wh… Why were we drinking again?" Diedara blinked with his one visible eye. _

_Hitoshi blinked, and double took to the clock on the wall, "And how the hell are we completely shitfaced at eleven in the morning?" They stared at each other until they shrugged simultaneously. Diedara reached for another as his hand mouth ripped the cap from the sedative liquid. Hitoshi dove onto a couch, turning on the news. They watched in amazement as a thirty foot skyscraper crumbled into dust in a beautiful explosion. The word __'LIVE' __was on the bottom left in a vibrant yellow._

"…_Wow," They both said, staring at the majestic bombing. Diedara raised his beer, "Cheers to you anonyms terrorist! You have created an explosion, worthy of being called art un!" He chugged the alcohol as he tossed the beer to the wall, sending another helpless bottle into foot piercing shards. _

_The news anchor's voice broke the silence, "Wanted criminals for this latest explosion are suspected brothers Deidara and Hitoshi Takashi," It showed pictures of each of them ripped from their identifications. "Two of the last living members of their clan with an active Kekki Genkai. This was found at the scene." The judgmental TV then showed a picture of a slightly charred spider. A clay spider. The spider looked like it was molded by a kid with Down syndrome. Whoever made it wasn't a Takashi, that's for sure. The finger imprints were visible on the clay. Takashi's never do that on their bombs, in fact, they pride themselves on the fact._

"_WHAT!" Deidara screamed at his television. Their chakra systems went of overdrive, filtering their blood of alcohol. _

"_Aniki! We need to get the fuck outta dodge un!" Hitoshi yelled, packing his things into a travel pack. "I don't want to die the same way mom and dad did!" _

"…_I'll meet you in air! I have to take care of some personal business!" He shouted, leaving the door open in their small apartment._

XXXXXX

…They never did meet in the air.

Hitoshi sighed, struggling to remain aphetic. _'There's no way I'm giving up on you yet you bastard!' _He stared at the coffee mug in his hands, focused on the rising steam. Hitoshi downed it, letting the hot liquid scold his tongue and throat. He rinsed the cub in the sink and left to his room.

He gathered stuff into one bag, preparing for a long journey. He packed rations, water, and many camping tents and other paraphernalia needed for things as such, and sealed them in scrolls. He would thank Naruto later. Once he made sure he had every thing he needed, he grabbed a piece of paper and a pen.

_Shinji,_

_If you are reading this, then I'm long gone. If you go on a long term mission, who knows, maybe we'll run into each other. Odds are, not likely. Take this to Sarutobi. He needs to know I left._

_Sorry we couldn't go drinking. You usually drink for the both of us anyway. How the hell do you still have money any how? Also, can you tell my landlord I won't be back for awhile?_

_Later un,_

_Takashi Hitoshi_

He placed it inside his liquor cabinet, somewhere Shinji always goes.

He slung his bag across his shoulder went to fetch some things. The picture of his brother and him, and his slashed Iwa headband. He froze at his doorway, _'Shit! I can't leave in my ANBU gear!'_ He walked back inside and led his bag slump to the ground. He raided his dresser for something suitable. Unfortunately, the only thing he had was his old Nukenin apparel. It would have to work for now.

He checked his appearance in the mirror. Crimson frayed and burnt pants, ebony wooden sandals under midnight tabi, and a black, tattered too big hooded cloak that split in a 'V' at the front of the waist and fanned out a little in the back stared at him. He looked at the mask in his hands. It perfectly resembled a human skull. Its jagged, pointed teeth were separated slightly apart by its open jaw. Its right eye was cut away for his scope like his ANBU mask, and the left eye was a single red dot in the black pit. The rest was a ghostly, ivory white. He put it on his face, it fitting like a glove. The skull made his hair fray backward in spikes, giving him a truly devilish appearance.

His eyes went into the corner. A scythe met his eyes. It had a charcoal shaft, and a long shimmering blade that looked razor sharp. Golden kanji decorated the long hilt, reading _'I am the one who will punish the deserving. I am the one who punishes evil, who brings light to the falsely accused. I am Justice.' _The scythe itself was seven feet tall, and the blade three. Hitoshi went over and grasped it in his hands, completing his death-like appearance.

Hitoshi gathered his things once again before he left his apartment. He dashed up one flight of stars before kicking open the door. His hand reached for one of his multiple pouches as the mouth feasted on clay.

The hand spat out the clay into his hand. He molded it for a good twenty seconds; he wanted it to last awhile. He tossed it in air and made a hand seal. In a poof of smoke, a beautiful, highly detailed, eight foot raven appeared. It had talons, grooved feet, feathers, and a slanted, crooked beak. He leaped atop of his creation.

"Let me give ya some color un." He said as he gently placed his left hand on its back. Color flooded from his hands like water, making it real in almost every aspect. He ruffled some of the feathers in its back.

"Let's go find Deidara, Aichou!" He called to his art. It cawed and flapped its mighty wings, sending it airborne instantly. "Don't worry aniki, I'll get you out of any shit you're stuck in un."

XXXXXX

Anko was sitting inTentou Dango, reading the paper. She took another long drink of her Shima. **'DEMON RAMPAGES IN TAZUNA GAI!' **was the main headline of the front page. Since it was, _'The Fire Inquiry,'_ you knew you weren't being fed lies. Asami came around and gave her another drink. She sat down with her long time friend.

"Okay Anko, what the hell is wrong with you? You're near wasted and it's only…" She leaned over, peering at the clock, "11:00…"

"You mean besides the fact that I'm a total outcast in this village? You know I take the missions I do in hopes of dying on the field. Since I survive, I drink away my sorrows here," Anko somberly stated, downing her alcohol in one 'sip'.

"That's hardly a life worth living," the waitress replied with a stern gaze.

"What can I do? I have no purpose here," She rasped, twirling the ice in her glass.

"As long as you're still breathing, you have a purpose," Asami finished, walking away to serve other customers. Anko left money on the table as she stumbled out of the stool. Her chakra subconsciously ate away the alcohol that ran abundant through her veins. Her feet led her walking through the streets, face impassive as the glares and insults were sent her way.

"_Snake whore!"_

"_Bitch!"_

"_Look who came crawling back…"_

"_Traitor!" _

"_I herd she bleeds people for fun…"  
_

"_Sadistic harlot!" _

Anko laughed it off. No one knew her pain, none shared any experiences comparable to the hell she called life.

XXXXXX

Naruto groaned as he opened his eyes. He noticed everything was sharper than it was before. A fly flew passed his head. He saw it, but it was a translucent image. He had to focus to see it. His focus also had to be just right. If not, he would see two rooms away, through the walls and everything. From that mistake, he found out he was in some hospital. Naruto yawned as he stretched the kinks from his back. Ignoring his screaming skin and aching muscles, his hands went to scrape the crust from his sore eyes. He froze when he reached his face…

…He was wearing a bandanna.

Needless to say, Naruto was freaked out. He stopped all chakra flowing to his eyes, he saw black cloth. He resumed the normal amount and the outside world became visible once more.

'_This is odd… Last thing I remember seeing was that girl getting…'_

Naruto paled as he recalled that day. Memories flooded his mind as a migraine attacked full force. He cut all chakra to his eyes as he gently laid back. He killed all those people in cold blood. He had killed before, he wasn't himself then. He was some sort of monster, hell-bent on killing. Sure the bastards deserved it, but he killed innocents to gain a small goal.

His hands were stained with the blood of the innocent. His head panged once more as he feel into a forced sleep.

XXXXXX

"Oh my… You're not shitting me at all, are you Kyuubi?" Sarutobi questioned the fox. He couldn't believe the happy-go-lucky sarcastic blond brat nearly massacred a town, a very big one at that. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he asked, "What all did you do to him?"

**"It seems his body was rapidly making a reservoir its own demonic chakra with the trace I left. He was becoming his own demon. He now has unique characteristics that divide him from a regular human. His eyes may also be out of the norm… I made the Sharingan, and my chakra had its blue prints. His own demonic chakra altered my eyes into something else, more of a knockoff than the real thing. It is still not to be toyed with though," **Kyuubi explained.

"Is there anything bad about this?"Sarutobi made out, rubbing his aching temples.

**"Yes… He could loose himself to his anger, becoming the monster he once was, but there is less of a risk that could happen now. Since his anatomy was altered, your healing methods won't work. His blood is now a highly corrosive acid, able to eat away at anything it touches. If he does have those new eyes, it will be a long while before he can use them without fighting back a massive migraine." **Kyuubi read off the list that was wrong with his cage of the past. He paused, looking down at the ground.

**"He… He is now in tap with five tails of chakra. That little stunt he pulled increased it even more than it once was. We tried forcing his chakra pathways open, but we could not fully restore his control. At the moment, he has the chakra control of a Genin graduate. And by the standards it takes to become a Genin, that's really low."**Kyuubi finished, openly stating his opinion of the wretched academy.

"Well damn, I guess it will be awhile before he is in his prime," The Sandaime concluded. "Wait, I thought his demonic chakra took six times as long to fill it's self? Why is he having more and more yokai?"

**"Well, that was then…Under closer examination, Yumi saw that his demonic chakra was feeding and growing off of his natural chakra. My presence in him was leaching from him. We did everything we could to remedy the situation, but all we tried failed miserably. He has little chances of living."**

"Damn it!" Sarutobi swore as he slammed his fist on his desk. He rubbed his temples once more. "So what can we do? As long as he is human he is dying!"

A somber silence filled the air.

**"…That exact problem is the solution…"**

XXXXXX

Shinji kicked down Hitoshi's apartment door, "YO HITOSHI! WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU!" He yelled, obviously mad. Such of a display of emotion was strange for an Aburame, but Shinji was the odd one of the litter. When someone says 'Hey, wanna go drinking at -insert time here-?', you show up. That's it. That's the ONLY thing that will get under Shinji's insect filled skin.

"Screw you man! I'm raiding your alcohol!" He shouted as he walked to Hitoshi's kitchen. He ripped off the doors to drink the sake within. Shinji froze when he saw the single piece paper out of place with the bottles. He slowly picked up the note saying, "This better be good…"

By the time he was done reading it, he calmed down a bit. There was a knock at the paneling of the door, since there was no door hanging from the hinges. It was the landlord. He was a short, fat, bald, and had no sense of hygiene. "What's going on up here?" He asked in a high octave voice. The kind of voice men have when they get kicked in the balls.

Shinji looked at the guest. "Hitoshi no longer is staying within the confines of this apartment. Consider his deed to this place void, he will no longer be saying here," He spoke in the basic Aburame monotone. When he was with a stranger, he kept the clan proud. "I will be here to claim his things by midday of tomorrow."

After he said that, he promptly vanished in a green flash.

He reappeared in the Hokage's office and put the note on the desk.

The wrinkled Sandaime picked up the note and read it. He lit his long tobacco pipe, smoking it aflame. "Well damn, there goes one of my drinking buddies."

XXXXXX

_Sarutobi checked the papers once more. He pulled out the bingo books, relating the information._

**Takashi Hitoshi **aka** Shinigami  
FLEE ON SIGHT**

**S-Class Criminal of Iwagakure**

**Specilizes**** in long range attacks, but is extremely versatile everywhere. **

**Blood:** AB

**Height:** 5ft 11in

**Age: **22

**DOB: **March, 21

**Appearance: **

Black cloak, Skull-like mask, rides giant crow, carries massive scythe.

**Summary of Nukenin:**

After he bombed one of Iwa's richest agency's buildings with his brother, Takashi Deidara, he fled Iwa to become one of the most dangerous terrorist for hire. He only attacks at night, always bombing where there are fewer citizens. Blasts are always contained, and never destroy anything put the target. Looks like the god of death, thus given title.

**Methods of Killing:**

Able to spawn flames or explosions by snapping his fingers. Uses clay and his bloodline to make bombs capable of leveling villages. (AKA the Takashi's Kibaku Nindo) Has shown knowledge of Kugutsu no Jutsu, but has yet to reveal any puppets. Highly proficient in Doton, somewhat in Katon and Fuuton also. Has casted GenJutsus with a pipa, any other methods are currently unknown.

**Kills:**

Kage: 0  
Hunter: 231  
ANBU: 101  
Jounin: 54  
Chunin: 2  
Genin: 0  
Civilian: 327

_There also was a picture of him smiling. It was the standard shinobi ID picture. There is a slight part in the hair clouding the right side of his face. Through that sliver, a fully functioning eye could be seen._

"_Three hundred and Twenty-seven civilians?" Sarutobi questioned._

_He looked down at the ground, "I was falsely accused of a crime un. Because of it, I am a Nukenin." He raised his hands, and the mouths smiled back at the now startled Kage, "My bloodline is something found only in the Madoka Clan, un. We are hated for it. In Iwa, everyone alive hates us, un. Any crime that happens can be somehow turned onto us. The criminal says we did, the jury doesn't question it. My parents died from being framed of an armed robbery un. I would have to if I didn't flee. They know we use clay to make bombs, so they planted it at the scene of the crime."_

_A silence erupted in the room._

_Hitoshi continued, "Me and my brother were watching the news when it happened un. Aniki said I should run and I did. I don't know what he did though. I haven't seen him since." He looked to The Hokage with a stern gaze, "I'm tired of running and killing the ones chasing me."_

_He got to his knees and put his forehead to the ground. "Please Hokage-sama, take me under your protective wing un. Let me be your solider." He pleaded. _

"_Please don't do that," Sarutobi said, "I don't like the bowing thing, but I am honored by the gesture." He went to his side and touched his shoulder. Hitoshi slowly rose his head, his dull black eye looking into Sarutobi's face._

"_Arigato Hokage-sama," He whispered._

"_You don't need to prove anything to me, I'll give you citizenship and any shinobi position you desire. And when you go leave to search for your brother, tell me in a way that will let me know it's you," He guaranteed. "But, I can't make you a Jounin Sensei and you'll be on probation."_

_Hitoshi smiled as he wiped his eye, "I am undeserving of any mercy you give me un, Hokage-sama."_

_Sarutobi was taken away by his manners, _'If only that little blond prick treated me with respect… Just once, then I could die I happy man.

XXXXXX

"I'm still here!" Shinji stated.

"Yes, that's true. But you don't pass out after five. I really don't know when you pass out," The withered Kage pondered.

"You'll never know…" Shinji toyed as he left Sarutobi's office.

XXXXXX

This may be centered on the newest OC, but it is needed. I promise the next chapter that's out will have a character sheet. It can get confusing…

**Voting Results**

…Okay, Anko wins by a landslide. Polls ended.

Anko had six votes, Kurenai one, and Shizune also had one. I'm sorta ashamed of you all too! I asked you to vote, I never said you only had one vote. Way to find a loophole! You people would suck at being lawyers.

**NOTE FOR ALL READERS**

Omakes and funny little things are good. I like making them, and I hope you like reading them. If you find something funny related around the general time span of the chapter, something about the chapter itself being altered a bit, or whatever, tell me! Send a review to the corresponding chapter and I'll gladly post it. I'll leave your penname, as proof as you gave the omake.

**AfAs**


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